Vacation
by ureshiibaka
Summary: It's vacation time again and the chief's got his map and his dart. But this year they are all in for a bit of a surprise when the dart lands. And Watari is plotting something...Completed!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello! This is my first ever Yami fic and my first fanfic ever so be somwehat kind to me. I was going to wait until I had the whole thing written out before posting but I have a tendency to put off what is not pressing so hopefully posting this will kick my butt into gear.

A few things to note:

I do not use Japanese words, titles or names. My reason for this is that I do not have a 100 comprehension of the language and I feel weird using it in the fic when I've only ever read the Viz Media English language releases. I will, however, keep with the tradition that seems ingrained here, and have Watari refer to Hisoka as "bon" only because I have watched the anime, preferring the native track and I have a soft spot for Watari's voice.

Also I've made a few things up to suit my needs. For example, I do not believe it is ever discussed whether or not the head of the security dept is a male or female. I'm going with female based on the two characters we meet in volume 9, they're amazon-like so it seemed like their boss would be too.

And finally, slight spoilers. Nothing that gives away the storyline, however this fic takes place mostly in a place introduced post-Kyoto and will involve some of the characters introduced there.

And finally for real, disclaimer: I own nothing, never claimed to own anything at all.

"Ready Chief?"

"I am, hand me the dart, Tatsumi."

Tsuzuki clapped his hands over his heart, "Come on Chief! You can do it"

"A place without active volcanoes would be nice," mumbled Hisoka without too much hope for anything less. So far in the few years the teen had been with the division, the yearly vacations had provided him with as much or more stress than the actual job had.

"I don't care where we go as long as there's delicious food and plenty to drink!" exclaimed Tsuzuki as he clasped his hands with Watari's, both men bouncing from anticipation, or perhaps from too much sugar. Hisoka rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically, earning him a sympathetic look from Tatsumi.

With the concentration of an Olympic athlete, Konoe drew back his hand and let the dart fly. Everyone held their breath in anticipation as the dart soared toward the map on the far wall in what seemed like slow motion.

THUNK! 

Blink, blink

"Where is it?" Tsuzuki asked. The map was unmarked, the dart nowhere to be seen.

"Over here, that's odd," The chief spied the dart sticking out of the top of a computer monitor.

"Must be losing my touch," he grumbled, moving to retrieve the dart.

"Just a moment Chief," said Tatsumi with a faint smirk; "The rule is you get one throw and one throw only."

Chief Konoe looked at the shrewd secretary in horror. "Tatsumi," he warned, "I'm all for saving the department money, but taking away our vacation is low, even for you."

Tatsumi's lip twitched in that special, smug way and he adjusted his glasses in that special, smug way and raised his eyebrow in that special, smug way (oh you get the idea!).

"Relax, I'm not suggesting that. On the contrary, I'm rather looking forward to it, seeing as there are very few places I have never been before…" He trailed off.

Hisoka's eyes narrowed, surely Tatsumi didn't mean _there!_

"Tatsumi, what exactly are you getting at?"

Tatsumi sighed, "Correct me if I'm wrong, and I rarely am, is that not Kannuki's computer? Or rather, the Suzaku Gate?"

Silence permeated the room as realization sunk in, only to be broken unceremoniously by Tsuzuki a moment later.

"Alright! Did you hear that Hisoka? This is going to be the best vacation ever! I can't wait to tell everyone we're coming! Oh and I'll bet we'll have some wild parties! Isn't that great?"

"Oh yeah, that's great Tsuzuki," Hisoka scowled, felling the beginnings of a migraine coming on, "There's nothing I'd like better than to be glared at by Soryuu, and pounced on by Suzaku and Byakko. All while trying to avoid becoming Saya and Yuma's living Pink House Barbie dress up doll, on my _VACATION_!"

Suddenly there was a small popping noise and a squall of pink hearts began to flutter about the room.

"Oo! Did you hear that Saya? Hisoka said that there's nothing better that he'd like than to be dressed in the latest Pink House fashions!"

"I sure did Yuma!" The girl cried brandishing an armload of shopping bags, "Good thing we came prepared!"

Hisoka emitted a low growl from his throat that was meant to be menacing.

"Awww, so cuuuute! He sounds just like a little kitty!"

"Oh kitty! I have the _purr_-fect outfit!"

From the depths of Saya's shopping bag, a French maid costume, complete with kitty ears and a tail, magically appeared. Tsuzuki eyed it adoringly.

"Quit drooling, Idiot! I'm leaving, we're still on the clock, not that that means much to you." Hisoka stormed out of the office, followed by Yuma and Saya still brandishing the costume. Tsuzuki sighed wistfully.

"Well I suppose I had better go rescue him."

"Here," Watari offered, digging a small digital camera out of one of his pockets and grinning like the madman that he was.

"What's this for?" Tsuzuki asked innocently.

"Oh come on, like you're going to actually stop them? I know you too well Tsuzuki!"

Tsuzuki stood looking deeply offended for a fraction of a second before an evil glint darkened his violet eyes. "Right, I'm off to the rescue!" He ran out the door, black coat trailing behind him.

"Just a minute, Tsuzuki."

"Huh? What's up Tatsumi?" he asked, poking his head back in the door.

"I'm going to need you're help setting up accommodations for our vacation, I understand one of your Shiki is a house?"

"Yep, that would be Tenko. I'm sure it'd be no problem for us to stay, room is not an issue, he can make rooms anywhere he wants."

"That sounds like our best option then, would you mind contacting him and just getting a definite yes?"

"Sure thing Tatsumi!"  
"Oh and Tsuzuki, one more thing," Tatsumi leveled his eyes at the camera in Tsuzuki's hand, "If I see any inappropriate pictures around, I'm holding you fully responsible and you're budget will be cut for 3 weeks."

Tsuzuki winked, "Don't worry, these will be for my private collection only!"

With that he backed out of the room and ran down the hall, hoping he hadn't missed anything.

"And you!" Tatsumi spun on his heels glaring at Watari, "You really should know better than to encourage him like that, it's only going to make Kurasaki angrier than he already is."

"Hmph!" Watari sniffed, "Bon gets what he deserves. It's unhealthy to repress your true desires, you know. It only causes frustration, for _both_ parties involved."

Watari's eyebrow arched playfully causing Tatsumi to adjusted his tie somewhat nervously.

"Is that so? In any case you should mind your own affairs, Watari."

The blonde scientist laughed softly, "But isn't that what I am doing right now?" He turned toward the door, tossing his hair over his shoulder in the process; "I'll be in my lab, should anyone _need_ me."

Tatsumi cleared his throat and checked his appearance in the reflection of the window before returning to his desk. "Right then, now that everyone's gone back to..eh..work…we should get started on the budget for this vacation."

"Hmm?" Konoe looked up guiltily from the flask he was chugging from, an empty aspirin bottle lay on the desk.

"Er, yes," he tucked the flask away in the bottom drawer, "but budget for a larger group this year. I received a memo earlier that due to the lull this season and the expected rise in cases over the holidays, we're doubling up this year, so add 5 to our head count."

"Oh? And who might they be?"

The chief shook his head, "I don't know. The memo said we'd get the list later. Let me check my email. Ah, it's here." Konoe read the list, "Wakaba and Terazuma, probably best if we don't let Tsu-" His words were drowned out by a loud crash in the hall followed by angry shouting.

"I swear it I'll push you straight into the first wormhole we see!"

"Who you calling a wormhole, wormhole?"

"You're a wormhole!" Another crash.

Konoe sighed, "Well too late looks like they figured it out. Do either of them have any pay left to dock for the damages?"

"No," the secretary smirked, "Perhaps we should give them both a raise?"

The chief eyed Tatsumi suspiciously before turning back to the list, "Let's see who else we got."

His eyes scanned the screen and went narrow, a frown forming. "Tatsumi, you can remove one from your head count, I'm not going!"

Tatsumi sighed, adjusting his glasses for the x-tyith time today.

"Am I to assume that one of the names on that list is Todoroki?" Konoe issued a dismissive grunt and Tatsumi sighed again. "I'll take that as a yes. So I can only assume that the other two names are Kazuma and Nonomiya. Very well then, that's those 5 plus our usual 7 so that's 12, I'll make the arrangements."

"Eleven."  
"I'm sorry did you say something chief?" Tatsumi turned to his boss.

"I said eleven, I'm not going."

"Right then, for a minute I thought I heard something childish from your direction. I'm off to make the arrangements, party of 12."

"Tatsumi!"

"Twelve Konoe, and you will be there, I'm certainly not going to spend on anything that will go unused." Tatsumi left the office, slamming the door, leaving Konoe to wonder exactly who was in charge of the department after all.

Meanwhile in another part of the building, Tsuzuki was thanking the gods for his amazing healing powers and wondering how Hisoka could land such powerful punches and kicks while wearing such a restrictive costume. It was as if the outfit doubled his strength and tripled his propensity for violence. Or perhaps Tsuzuki was just taken unaware by the boy because he was still tired from his scuffle with Terazuma.

"Oh poor Tsuzuki," Saya sighed, patting the bruised heap lying on the floor, surreptitiously removing a digital camera from his pocket and passing it to her partner in crime.

"He sure took one for the team didn't he?" murmured Yuma, looking through the pictures stored in the camera. "Oh Saya! We have to find a printer right now, these are too adorable!"

"AIEEE!" Saya squealed, grabbing the camera back, "Yes we do! I want a hundred copies of each!"

With that the girls ran down the hall towards the copy room, leaving a trail of hearts and fluff in their wake.

And down in the basement, a certain misunderstood genius was pacing back and forth, absentmindedly adding chemicals to a large pot on the table, disregarding the frequent explosions emanating from within and disregarding the positively adorable owl who was trying to alert him that his lab coat was smoldering.

"I don't know what I'm going to do about him 003. I mean it's obvious isn't it? And half the time he's giving me the signals loud and clear, but then in an instant he'll turn on me! How can he not see it too? Is he that heartless? How clueless!" But 003 was not listening, opting instead to dump a beaker of (hopefully) nonflammable liquid on Watari's lab coat. "Hmm?" Watari looked down distractedly at the smoking mess he was wearing.

"Oh was I on fire again? Thank you 003, I don't know where I'd be without you." The little owl beamed and bounced happily over to the window to switch on the radio that sat on the sill. Watari sighed, "What to do, what to do?"

Music filled the room. It was an oldies channel and Watari recognized the song, it was a British pop tune that had been rather popular when he was a young boy. He remembered buying the record with his allowance and started singing along with the song.

_I took my troubles down to Madam Rue_

_You know that gypsy with the gold capped tooth_

_She's got a pad down on 34th and Vine_

Selling little bottles of… 

"That's it!" Watari stood up, smacking himself in the head, "I can't believe I missed something that simple, that obvious!"

The crazed blonde ran to his storage cupboard and changed into a fresh lab coat. He dumped the explosive cauldron down the toilet (cursing when it ate a hole in said toilet) and took stock of his ingredients. "Hmm, just a few things I'll need," he mused. 003 smacked herself in the head for not changing the radio station earlier. _'Here we go again!' _she thought, tucking herself into a little owl sized bright orange HAZMAT suit.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I got reviews! Wow! Wasn't expecting that! Thank you!

Evilfrogger86: "Love Potion No 9" was written and performed by The Searchers and it came out in 1965. I believe according to the character profiles Matsushita says Watari was born in 1953, which would have made him about 12 or so when the song came out.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei, I should have said that I don't own Love potion no 9 in the last fic, but I do own the two tee-shirts mentioned in this chapter, but not the license on them.

On with the show!

Vacation

Chapter 2

4:45am

Wakaba woke just as the sun was rising and stretched cheerfully. Today was the first day of vacation and it was going to be a busy day for her. Wrapping herself in a fuzzy bathrobe, she made her way down to the kitchen quietly as not to wake her roommate. She smiled, deciding to bake something extra special for his breakfast today. She wasn't expecting to see him up, already sitting at the table with a coffee mug in one hand, cigarette in the other.

"Hajime! You're up early, what a surprise!"

"Up late, you mean," grunted the dark-haired man.

"What?" Wakaba's eyes went wide, "Hajime you haven't slept at all?"

Terazuma sighed and took a drag off his smoke.

"_He_ kept me up, something's been bothering him since yesterday."

Wakaba frowned, shuffling around the kitchen, "I'm sorry, I wonder could be?"

"I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with this years vacation," He frowned, then added in a softer voice, "He doesn't really like it over there, you know."

Wakaba fretted for a moment, wishing she had a way of comforting her partner. If he were anyone else she'd give him a reassuring hug. Truth be told, she wanted to do just that for so long now that it hurt to think about.

"Hey," she said softly, "We don't have to be at the office for three hours. Why don't you go lie down for a while. I'll make us some breakfast and while it's cooking I'll get your things together. I'm sure by now even _He_ is tired."

Terazuma glanced up through bloodshot eyes and looked into the mismatched set, seeing so much emotion hidden behind them. His heart jumped. He hated himself for what he was putting both himself and her through.

"Thanks Wakaba-Chan. I'll go lie on the couch for a while."

6:30am

Watari's head snapped up from the desk with a jerk. He squinted at the computer monitor in front of him, leaning closer and closer, wondering why there were fuzzy worms where his calculations had been the night before. Just before his nose actually hit the screen he felt the familiar jab of 003's beak on his wrist. The little owl pushed his glasses into his hand.

"Ah much better!" he grinned, favoring his pet with a handful of owl snacks. Glancing at the clock he noticed it was almost time to go and he had yet to pack his bags, opting instead to spend the entire night working on his special project. He decided to teleport back to his apartment and grab only the essentials.

The essentials ended up being a bathrobe, towel, two pairs of jeans, one pair shorts, a sweater and two tee-shirts bearing the slogans: "Scientists have great chemistry" and "I'm naked under my clothes." He almost grabbed a pair of swim trunks until he remembered that none of the Shiki he had ever met had any of the human hang ups about modesty. Once everything was stuffed haphazardly into a backpack, Watari jumped back to the office.

"Ready 003?"

The owl cocked her head at him and made a soft sound.

"Hmm? Potion? 003 I have no idea what you are talking about!" he said somewhat exaggerated, "You know Tatsumi's going to do a full search of me before he lets me through the gate. Not that I'll mind, but I don't need him finding anything. Now let's head up to the office and meet up with the others."

Watari grabbed a small wooden art supply box from the counter and locked up the lab before climbing the stairs to the main office.

7:15am

"Idiot! Wake up!"

"Mblmnbnn…"  
"Tsuzuki you freaking idiot get up! We have less than an hour to get to the office!"

"…Hmm…mumblemumble…and two of the chocolate cakes…mumble…Hisoka's kitty tail…drool…"

WAM!  
"Ah my cake! Er..uh…Hey Hisoka! What are you doing here?"

Hisoka glared at the violet-eyed man who he had just thrown out of bed.

"It's after 7 and we have to be at the office by 8 if we're going to make it through the gate. Not that I'd mind skipping out on this year's vacation, but if I recall correctly you kind of have to be there. Have you even packed yet?"  
Tsuzuki stood up and stretched, causing his pajama top to ride up, showing about 7 inches of flawlessly toned abs. Hisoka blushed, turning away quickly, only to find himself turning right back around when he realized Tsuzuki hadn't caught him staring.

"Of course I packed Hisoka! I've been ready for days! Man, we lucked out this year!" He rummaged around a drawer and pulled out a pair of clean boxers, threw them on the bed and took off his shirt. His hands were on the waistband of his pants when Hisoka realized what he was about to do.

"Tsuzuki what the hell are you doing?"

"Eh? Getting dressed, you said we were in a hurry so I didn't think I had time to shower."

Hisoka's face grew ever redder. "Not that you idiot! I mean just tell me you're going to change so I can leave the room."

Tsuzuki smiled. "Ah, just that? Really Hisoka you get worked up over the silliest things." And with that he did the last thing Hisoka expected. Tsuzuki continued to strip until he was standing in front of him, completely naked, staring into the closet, trying to decide which dark suit and white shirt he was going to wear today.

"Honestly," Tsuzuki drawled, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to have conversations in the buff, "It's not like you've never seen my body before. You young people really have a hang up over nakedness don't you? Well I'll warn you ahead of time, Byakko likes to enforce the "clothing is not an option" at the hot springs."

Hisoka closed his eyes and counted to ten, but it was no use, even with his eyes shut all he could see were the two pale, perfectly sculpted cheeks of Tsuzuki's rear. It was more than he could take. He stalked out of the room.

"I'll be out here when you're FULLY DRESSED! And hurry up!"

7:30am

Tatsumi stood in the doorway to the office much like a bouncer at a trendy nightclub, clip board in hand. Wakaba was already seated at her desk making preparations to open the gate. Terazuma slumped on the corner of her desk with his perpetual cigarette hanging from his mouth; downing coffee like his life depended on it.

There was an audible clicking sound coming down the hall, getting louder. Tatsumi turned to see the Hokkaido girls walking in synchronized steps towards him, their heels clicking the linoleum in unison.

"Good morning Tatsumi-San!" they sang out together.

"Good morning ladies," Tatsumi replied, "I'll need to have a look in your bags before I can let you in."

"Sure!" The smiled, unzipping they're matching pink suitcases. Both cases contained a larger than necessary collection of tubes and bottles of various cosmetics as well as what Tatsumi surmised to be Pink House's entire summer collection and more bras and panties than there were days in the trip. The latter contents made Tatsumi clear his throat and adjust his glasses.

"Very well, everything seems to be in order. You may go in."  
"Don't you need to do a full body search?" Saya asked suggestively.

Tatsumi looked amused. "No that will not be necessary. I…erm…_trust_ that you're not carrying anything you shouldn't be."

Giggling, the pair slipped past Tatsumi into the office settling on the opposite side of the desk from Terazuma just to be on the safe side.

7:35am

Watari was next to walk down the hall, his owl trailing behind him, looking like he spent the night in his lab, which he had. In an effort to put Tatsumi's suspicions at ease, the blonde had chose to wear as little as possible with the least amount of pockets possible. Currently he was dressed in no more than a black tank top; too short cut off jeans and a pair of flip-flops.

"Did I hear correctly Tatsumi? Did you just tell Saya and Yuma you trust them?"

Tatsumi regarded him wearily over his glasses.

"Well would _you_ want to strip search them?"

Watari smiled, "Sounds like fun, if I was into that kind of thing!" He winked suggestively at the secretary who had grasped 003 and was checking her over for contraband. Declaring her clear of any she was allowed to fly into the office where she found Wakaba's sunny hair to be a surrogate nest until Watari was allowed admittance.

"I didn't realize," Tatsumi said, turning his attention now to Watari's backpack, "That there was anything you weren't into."

Watari smirked, "Is that an offer?"

Tatsumi didn't answer, opting to finish his search of the backpack. His eyes landed on the wooden case in Watari's hands.

"What's in there?"  
"Um…" Watari blushed.

"Hand it over." Tatsumi sighed at the exasperating nerve of Watari to try smuggling his potions into the imaginary realm.

"Um, okay but just don't make fun of me okay?" Watari's blush deepened.

Tatsumi looked confused, wondering if he even wanted to know what was in the box. Who was he kidding, if it was something that could make Watari that uncomfortable he had to know and he had to know now! He opened it slowly, taking in its contents.

Paper, pencils, brushes, turpentine, India ink… 

"Watari, what is all this?"

"Well," he began, shifting uncomfortably, "I know you guys are all too nice to say so, but I kinda know I suck at drawing. I figured since there will be some really amazing landscapes and we'll be among some of the greatest artists ever, well…you know, I thought I would get some practice in."

"Very well," Tatsumi looked almost shamed for a moment, sensing the blonde's discomfort in admitting his shortcomings. He quickly recovered however, assessing his sometimes partner's wardrobe.

"It certainly doesn't look like you have room to hide anything on your body. All in all though I think everyone would be a great deal less nervous if I made you strip down to your underwear before walking through the gate."

Watari laughed, "Well that won't be possible, Tatsumi. You see, I'm not wearing any underwear!" He picked up his pack and art box, stepping past the shadow master who was now blushing worse than a schoolboy.

7:45am

"Tatsumi? What's wrong you're all flushed?"

Tsuzuki and Hisoka had just come around the corner. Tatsumi polished his glasses and gave them a smile.

"Ah good, you're here. I'm fine, really. Tsuzuki I'm going to need you to help Wakaba set up for the entrance. You two are free to go into the office.

"I thought you were checking bags?" Hisoka asked. Tatsumi smiled.

"Well yes, however I really only wanted that memo out to scare Watari, Yuma and Saya. If they ask though, I checked yours as well."

Tsuzuki and Hisoka entered the office just as Kazuma and Nonomiya of the security department showed up.

"Tatsumi, love!" Kazuma greeted the secretary, giving him a firm handshake that belied the somewhat girly address. "Just the man I wanted to see. I heard what you did to get Todoroki to come. Well played!"

Tatsumi smirked, "All in a days work, Kazuma. Todoroki isn't here yet, are you sure she's coming?"

Nonomiya smiled conspiratorially, "Oh she'll be here all right. Even if she doesn't respond to your…persuasion…I borrowed Watson from the Count. She's scared of that creepy little guy so I told him to chase her all the way here."

Tatsumi raised his eyebrows appreciatively.

"Is that all it takes? I'll have to remember that. Well you two go ahead and go in. It appears our leaders are the only two we are waiting on and they have," he checked his watch, "Exactly 3 minutes to get here or I send the shadows to get them."

The women snickered.

"We love you when you're being scary Tatsumi!" Kazuma yelled over her shoulder as they entered the office.

7:58am

Tatsumi looked at his watch again and looked down the hall toward a small supply room and sighed.

"I know you're there Konoe, and I know you heard everything I just said so you have two minutes to come out or I can have the shadows force you out."

Konoe poked his head out of the supply closet with a guilty look. He shuffled out of the room.

"I wasn't hiding from you Tatsumi. I was on my way here and I happened to notice the Security agents so I just assumed _she_ was with them. I didn't want to make a scene."

"Isn't that the problem though Konoe? You never want to make a scene do you?"

Both men looked up to see Todoroki striding towards them with quick steps. Tatsumi noticed that Watson was dogging her heels. He put on his most winning (read: fake) smiles.

"Todoroki, so very nice to see you!"

"Can it kiddo, you know why I'm here! And just so you know, that poor junior accountant that you threatened with blackmail is in the hospital with a heart condition. A _heart condition_ Tatsumi! How did you give a guy who is _already dead_ a heart condition?"

Konoe had used the opportunity to slip past Tatsumi into the office. It was going to be a long two weeks with that woman around.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Okay, this is kind of short because it's really only about 3/4ths of what I wanted to write, but I have to sleep and I promised an update before the weekend was up.

A few things to note:

-I think I referred to the house Shiki as Tenko instead of Tenku in the first chapter, my apologies. I'll go back and make changes later. grumbles stoopid similar names! grumbles

-I never listed any pairings for this but there's going to be at least 7, three of which are obviously TsuzukixHisoka, WatarixTatsumi and TerazumaxWakaba. The others? Well, I'm not that good at surprise endings so you'll probably figure them out too.

-No warnings needed for this chapter, but for future chapters I'll put up a warning now: Loads of Nekkidness, co-ed naked hottubbing adventures and some lemon fresh goodness at the end (not enough to change the T rating though, sorry)

Discalimer: I don't own it, if I did Yami would be an M rated yaoi-fest.

Chapter 3

Hisoka sat in the corner of the office, as far from everyone as he could get. Already he felt a headache coming on and the day had barely begun. He looked around, there was already a large crowd gathered and Konoe had just entered the office, but Tatsumi was still standing in the hallway waiting for others.

"Overwhelmed bon?"

Hisoka blinked at the blonde standing over him.

"Oh, hey Watari. Yeah, I just want to get this trip started so I can go find a quiet place to rest."

Watari looked around.

"Well looks like Todoroki's here so we should be starting soon."

"Todoroki?"

Hisoka turned to follow Watari's gaze to the door. Tatsumi has just come in, followed by a tall woman Hisoka had never seen before. She was middle aged, but in fine athletic shape with sharp features. She would have been attractive, but her face wore a scowl directed at Tatsumi's back. Hisoka noticed Konoe trying to hide behind Terazuma, who looked pissed about it.

"Oh, she must be the head of security right? Kazuma said that she and the chief don't really get along."

Watari nodded.

"It's complicated, no one really knows why they hate each other. I heard Tatsumi used dirty tactics to get both of them here." He shrugged and turned back to Hisoka. "Do you want me to help you close them out?"

Hisoka nodded, holding out his hand. Watari took it and closed his eyes, concentrating on a complex mathematical equation. Almost instantly Hisoka's mind went blank.

It was a neat trick, discovered accidentally one day. Hisoka had come into the lab to tell Watari there was a meeting, but the scientist had been deep in thought, working on one of his calculations. Mumbling to him self about quadrants and standard deviations, Watari unconsciously grabbed Hisoka's hand. Hisoka recoiled, preparing himself for the onslaught of emotions that never came. Instead there was blissful nothingness like Hisoka had never felt before. They came to realize that Watari's logical scientific mind was able to shut out all emotional distractions when he concentrated on something. It became a very handy tool, especially in situations like this, where there were too many people with to many rampant emotions.

"Watari!"

Hisoka yanked back his hand as if he'd been bit, his cheeks were flushed a bright red.

"Huh?" The scientist's eyes fluttered open, "Bon, what's wrong, didn't it work?"

Hisoka glared at him.

"It _was_ working, until you thought about _that! _There are some things I really didn't need to know."

Hisoka stalked off toward the front of the room. Wakaba almost had the gate open and he wanted to be one of the first through. He also wanted to wash his mind's eye after seeing what was on Watari's.

Watari frowned at his retreating form, confused. What had broken his concentration? Realization dawned on him and he let a small giggle escape. At some point his eyes had blinked open and he had seen Tatsumi bent over the desk talking to Wakaba. For a nanosecond his imagination had run wild, thinking of other things Tatsumi could be doing bent over a desk, or a lab table, or a kitchen counter…

"Poor bon," He sighed, and picked up where his imagination had left off (In the bath, on the sofa, on the train, in a graveyard…).

"Okay everyone listen up!" Tatsumi addressed the room, "The gate is about to open, everyone form a line and stay put until the gate keepers come and give instructions. "

Everyone who had never seen the gate open shifted in anticipation as the air around Wakaba's desk seemed to shimmer in and out of existence. Two blurry human forms began to shift in and out of reality, growing sharper each time until they were standing (more like hovering) in the office. A lush green landscape sprawled out behind them where the office wall had just been.

Kotaro and Kojiro appeared, wearing Hawaiian shirts (there must have been holes cut in the back for their wings), Bermuda shorts and silly grins plastered on their beautiful faces.

"Good Morning Miko!" Kotaro waved cheerfully at Wakaba. There was no formality as there normally was when the gate was opened because they knew the nature of this trip.

"Hi Kotaro! Hi Kojiro!" Wakaba returned their smiles and waves, "Everyone's here, just tell them what they need to do."

"Well," Kotaro began, taking a head count, "I recognize a few faces. Anyone who's been through the gate step forward, all who have not step to the back please."

As they made their way to the back of the room, Saya and Yuma were practically drooling on each other.

"Oh my god Yuma! How hot are they?"

"Yum. One hundred percent fuckable if I do say so myself. Too bad it's obvious they're gay."

"Who cares! I'd be content to watch!"

"Saya, you little perv!"  
"Oh look who's talking!"

"Hey! I'm not the one making plans to sneak over to the men's baths!"

While the Hokkaido gals argued and plotted, Tsuzuki, Hisoka, Terazuma, Konoe and Watari went through the gate. Once all the veteran dimension hoppers had cleared out, the Tengu took turns helping the others through. After assisting Saya and Yuma, Kotaro turned to Kojiro and gave a sly grin.

"Psst! Dibs on the blonde."

Kojiro frowned, "They're both blonde."

Kotaro winked, "I know!"

Once everyone had passed, Wakaba set the automatic shut down sequence (The Gushoshin were given special access to open the gate to let them back through) and hopped across herself. Everyone was assembled on a hill overlooking the city, waiting for the welcoming committee, who was apparently late. Tsuzuki looked over at the Tengu, who were still hanging around.

"You two got vacation too?"

Kojiro nodded.

"We had to beg and beg but finally So Jo gave in if we promised not to rip any more holes in the space time fabric of the Tengu realm," Kotaro added.

Tsuzuki smiled sappily.

"Cool, you have to check out the hot springs, these are better than any I've ever been to."  
Hisoka glared daggers and kicked his partner in the shins.

"And what exactly does that mean?"

"Huh?" Tsuzuki was puzzled at the outburst, but waved it off, considering it really wasn't out of character for Hisoka to hit him.

"It means what I said, you know the hot springs I'm talking about, I took you there remember? You liked it. You even let me hold you and-"

"Shut up idiot! Never mind. You really don't get it do you?"

"Get what?"

"Never mind."

Tsuzuki was about to needle Hisoka to tell him what was on his mind when he say Byakko and Suzaku running up the hill to meet them.

"Tsuzuki! Hisoka!"

There was a flash of tail ears and white hair and suddenly Tsuzuki and Hisoka found themselves knocked to the ground by the over zealous Shikigami.

"Byakko please be more civil, there are other people here."

Suzaku extended a hand to both men, helping them off the ground before pulling them into a bone crushing hug and kissing each on the cheek.

"My boys! I've missed you so much!"

Tsuzuki managed to maneuver himself into a position where his lungs could expand enough to talk.

"Suzaku, hi! We're all here, where were you guys?"

Suzaku smiled innocently, releasing them, "Oh there was a snake in the garden that I needed to take care of."

"Still giving Touda a hard time?" Hisoka asked.

"I has to stop them from completely destroying the rose bushes I had just helped Tenko and Kijin plant!" Byakko added.  
"Well I'm sure everyone's anxious to get to Kansei," Tsuzuki said, "Why don't we get going."

"Right-o!" Byakko mock saluted.

After everyone was introduced Byakko lead them down the hill into town, closely followed by Saya and Yuma, who found his tail and ears to be the most adorably uke thing ever. Byakko, being his usual friendly self, or simply unaware of the dangers of Pink House, didn't mind chatting with the pair. Rather, he enjoyed their genuine enthusiasm.

Following behind them at an unassuming distance were the Tengu.

"They appear to be trouble," Kojiro indicated the Hokkaido girls.

"Uh huh," Kotaro answered, "Almost as much trouble as us!"

Suzaku and the three women from security were chatting animatedly about swordsmanship, battle styles and archery.

"I practice every morning at dawn," She said, "You're all welcome to come join me. And if you need a moving target for archery practice, feel free to aim for Touda's head!"

"Suzaku!" Tsuzuki chided lightly from behind them.

"Let them kill each other if they want to," Hisoka said irritably, "It's probably less dangerous than what she really wants to do."  
"What does that mean?" Tsuzuki asked.

Suzaku narrowed her eyes at the empath.

"I think you're reading me wrong, cutie pie."  
"No," Hisoka smirked at the fire Shiki, "No I don't think I am at all."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: You know, this was supposed to be a fairly short fic, maybe three, four chapters at most. Well here I am at Chapter 4 and still just getting warmed up! I thought for sure that I'd have everyone naked in a hot tub by now! For those of you who like long stories, well this is for you. For those of you who like to cut right to the action, sorry.

I have Muraki as my wallpaper currently. As I write this he stares at me over his glasses, accusingly. "Why?" he begs, "Why am I not in the story?" Eh, I dunno, I guess I'm not ready to take on a Muraki story just yet.

So as I was writing the last part of this chapter I started mumbling to myself, "Yutaka in a yukata" over and over until it became a little song.

Okay enough words, on with the story! Disclaimer: No, no, I hafah no money! Not mine! Don't sue me!

Wakaba hazarded a glance at her partner, who was scowling more than usual. She sighed. He was being childish and she knew it, but deep down she couldn't help but be flattered.

Hajimi, we're on vacation. You're supposed to be smiling, not frowning."

Terazuma grunted. "Yeah, some vacation. It was bad enough when it was just Tsuzuki."

"I honestly had no idea Kotaro and Kojiro were going to be here too, I promise. Besides, they'll have their hands full. You'd have to be blind to have missed the looks between them and Saya and Yuma."

"Yeah, well I do NOT want to think about that. To top it all off _he's_ been a PMSing bitch ever since we got here."

Wakaba frowned; wondering what it was that was bothering Kuro-chan. After all, this was his home, shouldn't he be happy here?

"I understand," Wakaba said looking around at their travelling companions, "It seems like there's a lot of strained relations in this group. But once we get settled I doubt it will matter. This place is so big we don't have to see anyone really more than necessary. How about we go for a walk in the gardens after we put or things away?"

Terazuma shrugged, "If that's what you want to do."

Wakaba put on her brightest smile. "It is."

Watari followed Terazuma and Wakaba, a few paces back, studying the two with misty eyes.

"003, isn't it so sad, yet so beautiful? Like a tragic love story. I wonder…"

"What are you wondering?"

Watari blinked, then blushed. Tatsumi had been talking with Konoe, but fell back when he noticed the scientist falling further behind everyone else. Whether his motives were concern or suspicion, only Tatsumi knew.

"Oh, hi Tatsumi. I was just wondering if there was a potion that could sort of…um…inhibit Kuro-chan's little problem so that, you know," He nodded at the pair walking ahead.

Tatsumi gave him a stern glance, or at least tried to.

"Well as much as I hate to admit, it would be useful. However I'd advise against meddling in other people's affairs, Watari, it's never a good idea. Besides, you're potions never work. I'd hate to see the damage from that."

He had meant the last bit as a joke, but Tatsumi noticed a flash of hurt in Watari's amber eyes. Mentally he flogged himself for being such a cold idiot.

"Watari, I was kidding about the last part."

Watari smiled sadly. "The best humor has a grain of truth to it, isn't that right?"

"Watari," Tatsumi felt his heart squeeze a bit in his chest. Almost immediately the blonde had his mask up again. Smiling brightly, he flung a length of golden locks over his shoulder and draped a thin, pale, bare arm around Tatsumi's neck.

"We're on vacation, let's have fun and forget about science and budgets for a while okay Tatsumi? You're coming to the hot springs with us tonight right?"

Tatsumi blushed, both from the close physical contact with a half-dressed Watari, and the mental images he conjured of wet naked Watari ascending god-like from a bath.

"I'll have to pass, you know that's really not my…ER.."  
Watari turned on his most wounded pout.

"But it won't be the same without you there!"  
"Eh…" Tatsumi shifted out of Watari's embrace.

"I'll see what I can do. Now you'll have to excuse me, I've got to go back to babysitting Konoe."

Watari sighed watching the secretary walk away.

"Coward," he muttered, under his breath just before laughing like a mad scientist.

"Oh well! Not for long!" Watari began to step more lively, hugging his art box close to his chest

The Shiki had gone all out to make sure that everyone felt welcome. Tenku made sure every well-appointed room had the most luxurious amenities and a private bath. It was enough to put the best 5 star hotels in Tokyo to shame.

Everyone each had their own room with a few exceptions:

Kotaro and Kojiro (causing visions of hot man on man action to play out in the Hokkaido pairs minds).

Kazuma and Nonomiya (causing visions of hot lesbian action to play out in the Hokkaido pairs minds).

And Saya and Yuma (Who thought the idea of bunking alone was just too boring, especially when there was so much hot action going on all around them).

Tsuzuki begged and pleaded and almost resorted to violence to get Hisoka to bunk with him but the teen was having none of it. He told his older partner that he was looking forward to the blissful silence of a good night's rest without being glomped into oblivion and promptly slammed the door in Tsuzuki's face. Tsuzuki's shoulders drooped and he turned away from the others to hide his disappointment.

Touda had watched the whole exchange from the shadows, keeping an eye on his master while keeping off Suzaku's radar. He didn't understand why Master put up such a fuss for the boy who wasn't even grateful for Tsuzuki's kindness towards him. From his vantage point Touda was able to see the aching loneliness that Tsuzuki was trying to hide from the others. Touda's loyalty overrode his wish to remain unseen and he emerged from the alcove he had been observing from.

"Master, if you require a sleeping companion," He knelt down submissively at Tsuzuki's feet, "I humbly offer myself to service your needs."

Tsuzuki blushed profusely, Watari choked, causing the soft drink he was drinking to spew from his nose. Tatsumi cleared his throat a lot and wiped sweat from his brow. Saya and Yuma (and the author) were reduced to a pile of yaoi fan-girl jelly.

"Touda please just call me Tsuz-"

"And what makes you think Tsuzuki'd want to sleep with you?" Suzaku hissed, kicking the submissive snake away. "Tsuzuki you know that I'm here for you if you need anything at all and I would be happy to stay with you."

"Begging your pardon, _m'lady_," Touda sat up, rubbing his side which still bore a distinct boot mark, "I am offering myself as Tsuzuki's _most loyal_ Shiki."

Suzaku turned almost as red as her flames and reached back for her ridiculously oversized broadsword.

"Hey you two!" Tsuzuki was sweating and blushing and wishing there were a lot less people around. "Seriously, please stop fighting! Um…I command it!" Both Shiki gave him a wry look.

"Look, I'll be fine really. I was just hoping to spend some time with 'Soka…that's all" He trailed off.

"Well, um. I'm gonna go unpack. And I'm starving! I'll see everyone at the party this evening?" Tsuzuki smiled, his eyes crinkling in his characteristically fake way as he waved goodbye.

On the other side of the bedroom door a sandy-haired teen with bright green eyes has heard everything. He shook his head and sighed, sliding down to the floor.

"Tsuzuki," He whispered into the empty room, "How much of an idiot do you have to be?"

Byakko stretched lazily in the grass; his tail swishing from side to side, thumbing through the Pink House catalog that Yuma had given him earlier in the day. A shadow passed over him, effectively blocking out the sun's warmth and light.

"Tell me something, Byakko. What is the point of being the Guardian of the West, when you are never there to guard it?"

Byakko flipped onto his back and stared up at the source of the shadow. He smiled.

"Hiya Soryuu!"

The blue dragon looked nonplussed. "Byakko, Tsuzuki and his coworkers may be here on vacation, but we are not."

"I know that! I went out there earlier, I swear! But it was boring and nothing ever happens in the West and then I had to go meet Tsuzuki and then there were all these people so it was rude to just be like 'um, okay gotta go, bye!' And since I gotta be back here tonight for the reception I just figured I'd chill for a while!"

"Boring?" Soryuu chided, "We are not in a position to shirk our duties because they are boring. Eh, Byakko, what on earth are you reading?"

Byakko rolled to his feet and held the catalog out for Soryuu to see.

"It's a Pink House catalog!" he beamed, "This is where Yuma and Saya, the two pretty blonde girls, get their clothes. They said I could borrow it and if there was anything I liked they would order it for me. I kinda had my eye on this one." The tiger boy pointed to a particularly fluffy pink satin party dress. Soryuu rolled his eyes.

"Since today's rather hectic I suppose you can stay and relax until the reception, however, tomorrow it's business as usual. Got that?"

"Got it boss!" Byakko winked and flashed a victory sign before rolling back onto his stomach, returning his attention to the catalog.

"And, um, that one," Soryuu pointed to a more revealing electric red micro mini set on the catalog page, "the, uh, colors would compliment your, um, eyes better than pink."

With out a further word, Soryuu turned and walked back toward the castle, leaving an open mouthed, confused Shiki staring at his retreating form.

Terazuma and Wakaba had been walking though the garden for a while when they decided to venture off the castle grounds. They soon found themselves in the forest.

"This is nice," Wakaba commented, appreciating the shade the trees gave. Terazuma was having a hard time keeping his eyes off his partner. Her fair skin tended to burn easily in the sun. She already had a pink flush and a spattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks which he thought made her even more beautiful. He sighed and took a drag off his cigarette. A sudden stomach cramp caused him to cough.

"Hajime?"

"I'm good," He reassured her, "Kuro, he…Wakaba can you give me a second in private?"  
Wakaba nodded, a little unsure.

"Are you going to be okay? Do I need to get anyone?"

"No, just stay here, I'll be back in a sec."

Terazuma darted into a thick outcropping of trees. He was gone for only a few minutes. When he returned he looked, different? Wakaba wondered. He was still Terazuma, pointy eared and marked, but he looked less tired as he made his way back to her.

"Miss me?"

"Of course I did, silly. Are you better now?" She asked.

"Yeah," Terazuma lit another cigarette, "_He_ had to talk to me in private. We should be getting back now, ready?"

Wakaba nodded and hopped off the tree stump she had been resting on and followed her partner, who allowed her to catch up so that they were once again walking side by side. She felt something slide across her back and jumped thinking it was a snake. She jumped again when she realized it was Terazuma's arm snaking around her waist.

"Hajime be careful!"

"What? I'm touching the material of your clothes only, that's still okay right?"

They had discovered that Kuro only came out with direct skin to skin contact. Even so, Terazuma was always very careful and seldom risked such a bold move. Wakaba blushed slightly.

"Yeah, it's okay."

Watari carefully sat his art box on the desk in his room and threw his backpack in the corner before stripping out of his clothes and flopping onto the bed.

"Oh this is the most comfy bed ever!" He spoke out loud, "Tenku you're the best!" He gave a thumbs-up to the room, wondering if the Shiki could see him, lying there, naked. Not that it bothered him, but he thought about what he wanted to be doing on the bed and with whom. He wondered if a house could blush?

003 landed on the table and gave the art box a little nudge and made an insistent sound.

"Oh not yet," Watari answered, "It's only the first day, I don't want to raise any suspicions."

003 hooted again, indicating with her wing the open window to let Watari know she was going out to explore and to catch up with the other enchanted owls she had met on their last visit.

"Later 003!" Watari acknowledged lazily. He turned his gaze to the clock on the nightstand. It was about time to get cleaned up and dressed for the evening's events. After a long shower he began to rummage through his pack for anything not wrinkled or smelling of chemicals. Out of the corner of his eye he saw something red folded over the chair by the dressing table. It was a finely made yukata, red with hints of gold here and there. He tried it on and checked his reflection in the mirror, once again smiling everywhere in appreciation to the castle, who apparently had good fashion sense as well. The gold threads brightened his amber eyes and played off the gold of his hair, which he wore loose for the occasion.

Watari headed I what he hoped was the right direction to the main hall. After a few turns he realized he was lost.

"Hey Tenku, a little help here?"

The house was silent. Watari stuck his tongue out at it. Just then he heard a voice, two voices to be exact. He followed the sound of then until he came to a closed door. The first voice was muffled, female though, he was pretty sure. The second voice, though muffled, he knew well.

Tatsumi.

Watari could not make out what was being said. He didn't want to appear to be eaves dropping, but he didn't want to keep wandering the house until he was lost further. Suddenly the door inched open.

"After all, he is still your husband, the father of your child."

Watari gasped and jumped back. What was that all about? And who was Tatsumi talking to?

"Watari what are you doing here?"

He looked up and gasped again. Tatsumi was dressed much like he was only Tatsumi's yukata was a deep sapphire with accents of sky blue.

"Tatsumi who were you just talking to?"

Tatsumi froze. "How much did you hear?"

"Something about someone's husband. Whose husband?"

Tatsumi looked relieved.

"It is nothing. Watari please do not mention this to anyone."

Watari was deeply confused, but he didn't want to do anything to piss Tatsumi off.

"Sure thing, but um, are you headed to the main hall?"

"Yes, of course I am."  
"Oh good!" Watari sighed, "because I'm never going to find it on my own."

Tatsumi smirked slightly. "It's not that hard to find Watari, come on."

He placed on arm around his partner's waist and steered him towards the door at the end of the corridor. Watari smiled slightly, warmed by the light pressure of Tatsumi's hand on his hip.

"You're still coming to the springs tonight right, Tatsumi?"  
"I'm not sure."

Watari stopped.

"What if I said I'd tell everyone what I just heard if you don't go?"  
"That would be blackmail." Tatsumi said matter of factly.

"You're right, perhaps it is."  
"Why are you so insistent that I go? It's not like no one will be there?"

Watari shrugged, "I dunno, it's not the same with out you."

Tatsumi turned his head away from Watari to hide his grin as he opened the door to the main hall.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Argh! Okay this chapter is small and nothing really happens. It's actually only half of what I wanted to write but if I tried to finish it tonight it would suck hardcore and I didn't want to go a whole week without a new chapter update.

Parings: There are 9 and ½ pairings all together. Guess them and win a prize (well not really a prize since I'm broke, but I'm sure we can work something out.) Hint: the ½ is introduced in this chapter.

Small observation about the Viz Media printing of vol. 10: Right after all the Shiki are introduced. There's a crazy panel where Suzaku says they have to party and she's got the crazy face on. Tsuzuki and Byakko are "w00t-ing" in the background and if you look between Suzaku's fingers, Tenko is smiling and above her head it says, "We need lots of beer!" Tenko's a little drunk! I don't care if she's a Shiki, what is she, all of oh… ten years old? I had to add that to this scene.

Disclaimer: I don't even own a yukata, let alone Yutaka.

Everyone, it seemed, had been given a yukata to wear. Even Saya and Yuma, who normally would not be seen in anything but Pink House were wearing them. Admittedly though, theirs were pink and purple respectively. The girls were fawning over Tenko, who looked adorable in baby blue. Suzaku somehow had managed to adjust hers in a way that showed way more cleavage than would seem possible in the restrictive garment.

Tsuzuki lounged on a comfy sofa with a plate of confections in each hand, frowning slightly. Hisoka was across the room at a small table. Kijin and Byakko appeared to be teaching to play a game of some sort. He looked like he was actually enjoying himself.

"Something wrong Tsuzuki?"

Nonomiya, uncharacteristically without her more outgoing partner, seated herself on the sofa next to Tsuzuki. He fixed her with his signature "no cares in the world" smile. The girl shook her head.

"Uh-uh, that's not going to work on me, you know that!" Her eyes trailed over to Hisoka.

"He really cares about you, you know that right?"

Tsuzuki sighed and set aside his plates of sweets. "I know he does, 'Miya. But I think what I feel and what he feels are two different types of love. He regards me as family. And I…" He trailed off.

"You love him. It's as simple as that."

Tsuzuki raised an eyebrow at her. "Simple huh? Tell me that again and think about your parents."

Nonomiya sighed.

"Yeah, point taken. But your situation is different, Tsuzuki. Come on, it's obvious he loves you."

"Obvious? He never misses an opportunity to hit me, yell at me or call me an idiot. How is that obvious?"

Nonomiya laughed. "Ever heard the term 'pulling your pigtails'? That's exactly what Kazuma was like to me before she-"

"Before she what?"

Kazuma leaned over the back of the sofa kissing Nonomiya gently before waving at Tsuzuki.

"Tsuzuki and I were just contemplating the intricacies of love."

"Ah," Kazuma nodded sagely, "Yeah I seem to recall giving you quite a hard time when you were still a rookie."

Nonomiya smiled shyly and giggled. Her eyes swept the room and halted.

"Uh oh. Looks like Tatsumi's in trouble. I think we should go rescue him."

Tatsumi indeed, was having a hard time enjoying himself, backed into a corner by Todoroki who was giving him what-for. All he had done was suggest that she and Konoe find a nice quiet place to catch up on old times. If it was meant to be a joke, Todoroki did not find it amusing.

Touda, who was perched on a rafter observing, shuddered. That woman known as Todoroki reminded him too much of Suzaku. Two more women approached, they too made him shudder.

'_Great,'_ he thought, _'now I'm seeing her everywhere.'_ He jumped off the rafter and slid out the side door into the garden for some fresh air.

"Mamma-bear!" Kazuma called out, "Suzaku's going to show us the training grounds, come with us!"

Much to Tatsumi's relief, the older Amazon took off with the other scary women. He scanned the crowd looking for something. What exactly was he looking for? His eyes landed on Tsuzuki, too heartbroken to eat sweets even. He followed Tsuzuki's gaze to where Hisoka sat. 'No way,' Tatsumi thought. He was not going to get in the middle of that one. At once his eyes were drawn to a flash of gold. Watari sat on a pillow on the floor talking to one of the Shiki. Tatsumi's eyes narrowed, the two were sitting very close, as if they had been intimate for years. Rikugo, that was his name. He couldn't blame Watari; after all, the Shiki was attractive, though he did have six eyes, which made Tatsumi shudder a bit. Just then Watari put his hand on the other man cheek and leaned in close. Tatsumi felt a small stabbing pain in his chest as he turned away before he saw anything more.

"I don't think it's infected," Watari said, examining one of Rikugo's six eyes, "But I'd put a compress on it none the less. That swelling can't be good."

"That's pretty much what Taimo said too." Rikugo smirked, a little intoxicated, "You know I'm all eyes for her."

"And she has eyes for no one!" Watari finished. Both men collapsed onto their cushions laughing like madmen.

"That joke never gets old, you idiots."

Taimo slid down onto a cushion next to Rikugo.

"You two seem to be enjoying yourselves, but I think someone's just a bit jealous."

Rikugo put his arm around Taimo.

"Hey don't be jealous, baby. Watari and I were talking science."

Taimo smiled, or at least, she sounded like she was smiling.

"Not me, you idiot," She pointed across the room to Tatsumi's retreating form. "He looks like someone just took away his birthday and Christmas."

Watari's eyes grew wide.

"Tatsumi?"  
Rikugo blushed. "He's the one you like right?"  
Watari nodded.

"Oh dear, I think he has the wrong idea. He probably saw you examining my eye and thought..."

"Really?" Watari smiled, "Good!"

"Good?"

"Yes good. Tatsumi's jealous! That means he does care!" Watari jumped up, "Rikugo, it's been great talking to you. Taimo, he's all yours now. I've got something I need to do before hitting the springs!"

Saya and Yuma sat on a sofa, braiding Tenko's hair, alternating their gazes between the Tengu, who were stunning in matching white and gold, and the three boys in the corner that they had dubbed the 'forever-teen uke club.'

"Hisoka! You're actually smiling!" Kijin's eyes sparkled as he watched the sandy-hairdo boy pick up two more cards.

"Contrary to popular belief, I do smile."

"Yeah, but you've been kinda umm… I don't know, angsty? Yeah angsty since you got here," Byakko added, swapping out three of his cards, "What's the deal with you and Tsuzuki?"

Hisoka blushed.

"There is no 'deal' with Tsuzuki."

"Yeah but you like him, don't you?" Kijin asked

"Yeah, of course I like him," Hisoka sighed, "But it's not like _that_."

"Yeah it is!" Byakko teased.

"No, Tsuzuki thinks he has to protect me. Like I'm his little brother or something."

Kijin rolled his eyes, "Um, yeah. Hisoka I thought you were an empath? I mean, isn't it obvious?"  
"I think," Byakko added, throwing down his cards and declaring himself the king, "that you really do know how Tsuzuki feels, but you're afraid."

"Afraid of what?" Hisoka asked.

"Afraid of being hurt, or hurting him. Personally, I think you are just hurting yourselves more by pretending nothing is happening."

Hisoka frowned. "I don't know, I really don't."

The night wore on and many people had way too much to eat and certainly too much to drink. About the time that Konoe asked Kochin if she knew "My Way," most everyone decided it would be a good time to turn in for the night or head out to the hot springs.  
"I'll go get the beer!" Tenko shouted enthusiastically.

"Oh no ya don't!" Byakko said, scooping up the little girl, "You're a mean drunk Tenko, time for bed for you!"

"Nooooo!" The girl giggled as Byakko dragged her out of the room.

Kijin said his goodnights as well, claiming that he had a long day ahead of him in the morning. Only Hisoka's empathic mind was aware that Kijin was planning to slip out of his room to meet a "friend" in the forest. The thunder Shiki's secret was safe.

"Hey, where'd Hisoka go?" Tsuzuki scanned the crowd he had been herding out the door. "I'll meet you guys there!"

He turned back to the hall, which was empty. Thinking that he may have gone back to his room to be away from everyone, Tsuzuki headed for the living quarters.

Watari hummed quietly to himself as he slid into his room and set several bottles of wine on the dressing table, setting one off to the side. He stole a look around.

"Now, now, Tenku, no spilling the beans okay?"

Checking again to make sure the door was locked, Watari went back to the table and opened the small wooden art case, withdrawing two bottles. Turpentine and India ink. He set them aside and uncorked the bottle of wine that he had set aside. It was no different than the others. Carefully, he poured a small amount of wine down the sink. In its place, he poured the contents of the turpentine and India ink containers. The bottle smoked a little and Watari prayed there would be no explosions. The smoke died down and Watari clasped his hands together. Carefully, he pulled a loose strand of his hair away from his head and looped it around the neck of the bottle, securing it in place when he re-corked the wine. He put it with the others and stood back to survey his handiwork. Perfect, they all looked exactly the same; the golden strand was invisible to the unknowing eye.

"Brilliant!" He exclaimed. No one would suspect anything. He gathered up the bottles and unlocked the door, using his shoulder to push it open.

"Hey is that you His- Ah, Watari, I thought you'd be down at the springs already."

Watari jumped, startled by the voice.  
"Tsuzuki! I thought you'd be there too. I just had to grab a few things." He looked back at the room and noticed that the discarded inkbottle was indeed smoking, and threatening to explode. "Ah crap!"

"Here," Tsuzuki took the bottles that were threatening to fall out of the scientists grasp.

"Hey, I'll meet you down there, if you see Hisoka try to get him to come to okay?"

"Will do!" Watari said nervously, hoping that Tsuzuki didn't notice the suspiciously smoking inkbottle. "Oh! Tsuzuki! If you see Tatsumi tell him I'm on my way and to wait for me okay?"  
Tsuzuki grinned knowingly. "I sure will Watari!"

Outside in the garden, Tsuzuki passed Tatsumi, who appeared lost.

"Hey Tatsumi! Where you going?"

"Oh, hello Tsuzuki. I'm uh, taking a walk. Trying to clear my head."

"Well Watari told me that if I see you to tell you to wait for him. He got hung up. Hey you haven't seen Hisoka have you?"

Tatsumi frowned. _'Hung up, on what Rikugo's bedpost?'_

"Tatsumi?" Tsuzuki nudged the shadow master.

"Hm? Oh, yes, I did see Kurosaki. He was headed toward the reflecting pool with-"  
"Thanks!" Tatsumi was cut of and found himself suddenly holding several bottles of wine. "Take those to the springs for me okay? Thanks Tatsumi!"

Tsuzuki was already long gone before Tatsumi had formulated a response. He sighed looking at the bottles in his hand.

'_I guess I have no choice now.'_


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Yay we're finally to the Nekkid hot springs part! W00t! I'm so happy that people are digging my story, the reviews have been wonderful!

No takers on the pairings except Amethyst-eyed Koneko, who I might add, was pretty good at figuring some out. You get the prize after all! I'll draw you a picture of Tatsumi running naked through a field of daisies! Hehe, just kidding! Watari and I apparently went to the same art school so it would look something like a circle on a stick in a field of smaller circles. Actually I suck at fan art, but if anyone's interested in seeing some of my drawings let me know. I'm always looking for criticism.

Now on to business: Keep in mind that this is fanfic and there are somethings that will happen soon enough that are going to sort of contradict the series a bit. But hey, I've seen stories here with some really weird parings so mine won't be that far off.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the computer I'm typing this on.

Hisoka's first instinct was to head to his room and take advantage of the silence. But curiosity, as they say, killed the cat and he found himself beyond the garden on the edge of the forest.

"Oh! Hisoka you startled me!"

"Out for a late night stroll Kijin?" There was a hint of amusement in the Shinigami's voice. Kijin's cheeks flushed.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep with all the excitement from the party so..."

His voice trailed off as he gazed toward the dark expanse of the forest. Hisoka smiled most uncharacteristically.

"Sorry Kijin, I won't keep you from your date. Yeah I sensed it. But I have to know, who are you meeting?"

The thunder Shiki's face became a deeper shade of crimson.

"Okay but if you tell anyone I'll spill everything to Tsuzuki.

Hisoka's face now reddened. "I swear."

Kijin took a deep breath. "Kurikara. We're sorta seeing each other."

Hisoka's eyes threatened to jump out of his head.

"Your father doesn't know about this does he?"

Kijin shook his head furiously.

"No! No one knows! Please, Hisoka, don't tell anyone. Kurikara's not a bad person. He's actually very sweet and we have a lot in common and...I'm in love with him."

"Don't worry, I'm not dumb, I won't tell any-" Hisoka heard something, "Kijin, someone's coming! Go quickly and I'll head them off."

"Thanks Hisoka!" Kijin took off into the darkness.

Byakko stripped off his clothing and did a running cannonball into the pool, soliciting groans and protests from everyone present at the hot spring.

"Byakko how old are you?" Suzaku asked, holding one hand protectively over her drink.

"Old enough to know how to have fun!" the tiger boy answered, swimming over to an empty ledge. He looked around. There were a lot of absent faces. So far only Suzaku, the Hokkaido girls and the women of the security department were there.

"Where is everyone? I thought for sure Tsuzuki and Watari would be the first to get here."

"I just past the Tengu, Watari's having some kind of trouble keeping his room from catching fire, or so Tenku tells me. Touda's hiding behind that rock over there, probably waiting for Suzaku to leave, and Tsuzuki's currently looking for his partner who is currently in the process of catching my son sneaking out for a rendezvous." Soryuu slid elegantly into the water and sat on the ledge next to Byakko. "Did I miss anyone?"

"Uh, Tatsumi, but I doubt he'll show up," Byakko answered. Either the springs were hotter than normal or he was being affected by the blue dragon's naked presence so close to his. He grabbed his tail and held it to his lap to stop the twitching.

"Are you planning on telling Kijin that you know where he's going every night?" Suzaku asked.

"No," Soryuu smiled, "In time he'll tell me on his own. I can't say that I approve of his choice of mates, but having been young and rebellious once myself, I am in no position to talk. Speaking of which." He leveled his cold eyes at Suzaku.

"Can I trust you to behave yourself?"

The fire Shiki scowled, but there was no fire behind it.

"I suppose," she sighed, turning her attention to an outcropping of rocks in the distance, "Come on out snakey boy, I promised I'd behave, for tonight at least!"

Touda emerged from his hiding spot. With out a word, he slid off his solid black yukata and lowered himself into the pool near Saya and Yuma, who were furthest from Suzaku.

"Try not to go under snakey, your wires might short circuit." Suzaku said with a big fake smile, as if imagining just that. Touda returned her fake smile with an even faker one. "I appreciate your concern." He turned his attention to the girls nearest him. They seemed at lot more subdued than they had been earlier. "Are you enjoying yourselves?" He asked, wondering what possessed him to make small talk when he should really be looking for Tsuzuki, who had been gone too long.

"Uh, yeah this is great!" Yuma smiled nervously.

"We're really having fun!" Saya added, "But uh, I wasn't aware that this was a co-ed bathing area. We followed Suzaku. We just assumed that it was the girls area."

Kotaro and Kojiro made their appearance, carrying a crate of sake between them.

"We don't have silly rules like that here!" Kotaro said with a wink, stripping out of his robes. He stretched casually, for just a moment too long before settling himself in the water, allowing everyone present a good view of his body. Kojiro rolled his eyes and stripped a bit more modestly, however he seemed to take his time making sure his yukata was properly folded and in a dry area before situating himself in the water. Kotaro threw an arm casually around his shoulder. Yuma blushed. Saya squeaked. Touda rolled his eyes (but no one saw that because he still had his visor on). Kotaro grinned like a Cheshire cat.

"You're not uncomfortable with all the men around are you?"

"No!" the girls protested in unison.

"What's the point? I can't get in the water and I really don't want to see all those guys naked!" Terazuma growled, though he was still following his partner, who insisted that they join everyone at the hot springs.

"We can still relax Hajime! I'm sure they will have plenty to drink, and I've had a really long day and so have you"

Grudgingly Terazuma followed. The spring was already pretty crowded when they got there.

"Yo Miko!" Kotaro called, causing Terazuma's head to swell with jealousy. Wakaba waved cheerfully before untying her robe.

"Wakaba!" Terazuma turned his head away, then back then realized what he was doing and turned away again.

"What?" Wakaba asked, tossing aside her robe, revealing a modest one-piece bathing suit. Terazuma calmed down, then realized he had never seen his partner in such a revealing outfit and blushed again.

"What's up with the suit Wakaba?" Byakko asked, "You've never-"

He was cut off by a glare from the girl and picked up on its meaning.

"You've never worn one that color before!" Byakko patted himself on the back for the save.

Wakaba smiled at him gratefully.

"It's new!"

"Is there room for an old guy in here?"

Konoe sat on the edge of the pool, near Soryuu, thankfully with a towel around his waste.

"If they allow me here then I'm sure your not too old," Soryuu said, moving over to give Konoe room, pressing his body up to Byakko in the process.

Todoroki's eyes narrowed, but she did not comment, turning her attention to her drink instead. Nonomiya glanced at Kazuma and raised an eyebrow. Kazuma smiled and shrugged her shoulders.

Tsuzuki spied his partner standing on the edge of the forest talking to someone. He sped up to a run.

"Hisoka! I've been looking for you. Who were you talking to?"

Hisoka turned toward the forest.

"003"

Tsuzuki was puzzled, "You were talking to an owl?"

"Yeah, she was pretty drunk, I gave her directions back to Watari's room."

If Tsuzuki found the statement odd he didn't say.

"Well come on Hisoka, I'm sure the party started without us!"

Hisoka looked up into the pleading violet eyes ready to answer negatively when he changed his mind suddenly. "Sure Tsuzuki, lets go."

"But Hiso...Wait a minute, you just said yes?"

Hisoka rolled his eye.

"Yes I said yes, you idiot, now come on, before I change my mind. Tsuzuki smiled madly and followed his partner.

As they neared the springs, Hisoka wondered if he had made a mistake. From his perspective, the pool looked like a giant pot of emotion soup. He turned around to see that Tsuzuki was already out of his clothes and blushed. There was no turning back now. He slid off his robe, but kept his boxers on (there were women present!). Tsuzuki slipped into the water taking a seat by Touda, which put Hisoka a lot closer to the Hokkaido girls than he wanted to be. Luckily Wakaba noticed his discomfort and sat next to him.

"Hey Hisoka! I guess I'm not the only one in a bathing suit now so I don't feel like a dork anymore."

Hisoka smiled.

"That just means we're both dorks," he teased.

"Modesty isn't dorky," Wakaba laughed, "with this crowd its probably good protection. Hey, has anyone seen Tatsumi or Watari?"

Tsuzuki looked around, smiling evilly.

"Hmm, it's just a little too convenient that they both aren't here yet. Come to think of it, Watari had me tell Tatsumi to wait for him."

"Ooo" Saya squealed, "Do you think they finally-"

"Finally what?"

Everyone jumped. Tatsumi stood at the edge of the pool with several bottles of wine in his arms looking quite uncomfortable.

"Um, drinks anyone?"

Watari scrubbed the last of the sot from his face and ran out of his room. It had taken him almost a full hour to clean up the mess and he was pretty certain Tenku was fucking with him the whole time.

"Why do you have it in for me house?"

He cursed profusely and prayed Tatsumi had waited for him. He breathed a little easier when he got to the springs and noticed a particularly stunning brunette was still there.

"Watari you made it!" Tsuzuki waved. Watari smiled and unrobed, completely oblivious to the fact that he was walking around naked and in mixed company, but not oblivious to the fact that Tatsumi was staring at him openly. He cheered inwardly.

"Hey Tsuzuki, where's you put those bottles of wine I gave you?"

"Huh?" Tsuzuki thought for a moment, "Oh! I gave them to Tatsumi because I had to go look for Hisoka."

Watari took in a sharp breath.

"Um, Tatsumi? What did you do with the bottles of wine Tsuzuki gave you?"

Tatsumi looked confused, "We drank them."

Watari began to panic.

"All of them?"  
Tatsumi looked around at the empty bottles lying all over the place.

"Yep, looks like. Sorry, we still have plenty of sake though!"

Watari was sweating at this point.

"Who exactly drank them?"  
Tatsumi gave him an odd look.

"Everyone I think."  
"How long ago?"

"I just got here a half hour ago myself, so not long ago."

Watari ran his hands through his hair and began pacing.

"Oh this is bad, this is very bad."

"What's bad Watari?" Tatsumi was, smirking? Watari sighed. Tatsumi must be drunk. This comforted him slightly.

"Um, one of those bottles of wine had a, er, that is," he stammered. He had everyone's attention. He wiped some sweat from his brow and regained his composure.

"One of the bottles of wine had a potion in it."

Tsuzuki smiled, "Well we're all fine Watari, no one is a chicken or has had their sex changed so I'm sure it will be okay. Come on in and have a sake."

Watari shook his head.

"You don't understand! It was a love potion. It was created to make the person who drinks it fall in love with the first person they see."

"None of us have fallen in love with each other that I can see," Suzaku commented.

"It takes one hour." Watari sighed, "So if Tatsumi just got here a half hour ago, you all have a half hour at best to hide from one another or find the person you are in love with."

A lot of splashing and tangling of limbs ensued as everyone made to get out of the springs at once. Watari hung his head and slipped into the water, knowing he was the only person who would not be affected by the potion. Soon everyone was gone. Everyone, that is, except Tatsumi, who was staring at him with something between anger and hurt in his eyes.

"Tatsumi, you should go to."

"Who was it for Watari?"  
His voice was like ice. Watari stiffened, but did not answer the question, or look up to meet Tatsumi's gaze.

"You were planning on using it on that Shiki, weren't you?"

"What?" Watari looked up, confused, "What Shiki?

"The one with the eyes. I saw the two of you together at the party. Really though, I doubt you needed your potion to get him in bed. That's where you were, weren't you?"

"Rikugo?" Watari laughed bitterly, "Tatsumi, Rikugo is a friend and nothing more. He's straight as well and is very happy with Taimo. They've been together for years."

"Then who?" Tatsumi's voice was low but insistent. He leaned forward and lifted Watari's face to meet his. Tears streamed from amber eyes.

"Watari, who were you going to use the potion on?"

Watari clenched his eyes shut, knocked Tatsumi's hand away and jumped out of the pool. He slipped his robe on and turned back to Tatsumi, tears streaming freely.

"You, okay? I was going to use it on you!"

Watari ran as fast as he could, tripping over rocks and cutting his feet badly, but not caring. He didn't stop until he reached his own room. Slamming the door, he threw himself on the bed and sobbed loudly.

Back at the hot springs, Tatsumi folded himself into his yukata and started the trek back to the castle, feeling like the world's biggest ass.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I'm sorry, this chapter is a bit short and quite a tease to boot. We're almost to the end, just one chapter left and then a bonus page of YnM silliness. Yes, I like the bonus pages in many of the manga I read so I feel the need to add some of my own.

A small warning: Yuma and Saya have potty mouths, I don't know why, I kind of like them that way.

Additional notes at the bottom of this story so please read and enjoy!

Disclaimer: No matter what I do to them in my sick little mind, they are not mine. However I am willing to pay many many millions of yen to Sony Robotics if they can produce me a life like Touda robot.

GRRRRR! Disregard the roman numerals, for what ever reason FF will not let me format this chapter properly so they are just there as a page break, sorry 

I

Rikugo slipped out of bed and tiptoed out to the balcony to find out what the disturbance was. All of his eyes opened wider at the sight in the distance. A large number of Shikigami and Shinigami were running in various directions from the hot springs in various states of undress.

"Ri-chan, what is it?"

Rikugo motioned for Taimo to join him oh the balcony. She stood up, stretching lazily and shuffled to the door blinking (I think).

"They look like they've seen a ghost," she commented blandly.

Rikugo smirked.

"In some sense, yes they did. A blonde ghost from Osaka with a knack for stirring up trouble."

Taimo nodded thoughtfully.

"Well it doesn't look like anything they can't handle. Come back to bed."

Rikugo smiled and allowed her to pull him gently back into the room.

II

Watari sat on his bed, head in hands and sighed into the stillness of the night, wiping a stray tear from his cheek. He felt foolish.

_What were you thinking, Yutaka? It was a potion, even if the plan had been successful, it would have been fleeting, momentary at best. In the morning things would have been much worse once Tatsumi realized he had been manipulated._

The blonde sobbed convulsively. It was only the first day of the two-week vacation and he had managed irreparable damage. He longed to be back in his lab where he could shut out the world and throw himself into his research, obliterating all thoughts of his broken heart.

Watari got up to close the window just as the bells in the clock tower began to toll the hour. In a few minutes it would all be over, and everyone could go back to enjoying themselves. He slipped off his robe and flung himself onto the bed, burying himself deep under the covers. He knew he would not sleep, but he was willing to suffer the pretense of sleep to avoid the eyes of the people he betrayed, the people he had called friends. With the windows closed, the room suddenly seemed a lot darker than it had been. The candle, which had been illuminating the whole room, still burned, but the light did not fall far from around it, as if the room has become submerged in shadows. Watari gasped, sensing movement, and looked around sharply. The room was in fact cloaked in total darkness.

"Wh-who's there?" Watari groped for his glasses that he had flung carelessly when he entered.

A robed figure materialized out of the darkness, drifting slowly toward his bed.

_"Yutaka."_

III

Touda grimaced, cursing his inability to walk a straight line. A powerful force of destruction though he may be, when it came to drinking, Touda was a lightweight. He wandered aimlessly in a direction he hoped was facing away from the castle, trying not to think about the hang over he'd suffer in the morning. Something snaked out of the darkness and wrapped itself around his ankle. With a sharp tug the Shiki was pulled off his feet and hanging upside down from a high tree branch. He shut his eyes and let out a groan as the contents of his stomach tossed dangerously.

"Touda?"

Touda stiffened with recognition, mentally cursing. Of all the people who could have found him in this position, why did it have to be her? Taking a deep breath he opened his eyes, expecting to see her face, upside down and full of sadistic glee. However that was not the case. He could not immediately comprehend why she was right side up and her hair stood on end, nor could he figure out why she looked very much like a nervous tomato. Realization cleared the drunken mist from his mind and Touda smirked slightly at the sight in front of him. Ensnared by another vine, hanging in much the same fashion, mere inches from his own form was Suzaku. Had his stomach not threatened to empty itself unceremoniously with the slightest movement, he might have laughed outright.

IV

Nonomiya spotted him, not far ahead of her, running towards the living quarters. With a smile she sped up.

"Daddy!"

Konoe turned to see his daughter running and waving. He looked around; there was no sign of the enemy.

"What is it Miya?"

"There's not much time! Kazuma thinks Tatsumi miscalculated how long he'd been there. I asked Watari; it will wear off in about an hour. Here, use this room to hide."

Konoe dived for the door, asking no questions. Nonomiya slammed the door behind him and locked it with a grin. Kazuma popped out from behind the column she had hidden between.

"Are your mom and dad both in there?"

Nonomiya nodded, jangling the key before kissing her partner playfully. "And I threw on a few magic seals for good measure. Let's get to our room now."

Kazuma grabbed the younger girls arm and ran for their own room.

"By the way, whose room is that?"

Nonomiya grinned wickedly.

"It's a storage closet, but Tenku was kind enough to furnish it with a small futon."

V

Terazuma sat of the ledge of his window looking out at the forest illuminated by moonlight. Using his last cigarette, he lit another. He had done this six times since Watari's announcement just over 25 minutes before. He exhaled fiercely cursing the scientist in twenty different languages. If it hadn't been for Watari's idiotic potion he would have told her already, and perhaps they would be together right now. He glared at the wall, the foot of stone and masonry that separated him from her, as if willing it to crumble away with his look. He lit another cigarette and flung the old one out the window and hopped off the ledge, crossing the room until he was a foot from the offending wall. Raisin his fist, Terazuma punched the wall, or rather, attempted to punch the wall, but his fist met air and he lost balance, falling to the floor.

"Hajime?"

Terazuma lifted his head upon hearing his name. His mouth gaped open and his cigarette dropped forgotten to the floor. Where the wall should have been was something very different indeed.

VI

Saya and Yuma had a dilemma on their hands. Self-preservation had never really been a factor to the girls before, especially when an opportunity like this presented itself. Armed with video cameras, several Pink House outfits and a discreet white package from a mail order catalog called Adam and Eve, the Hokkaido duo stood nervously glancing around the main hall embroiled in a debate.

"Hisoka and Tsuzuki! Come on we've been dying to get them together for ever!"

"But the Tengu, Yuma! We have all the time in the world for Tsuzuki and Hisoka!"

Yuma squirmed and hopped around like she was doing the potty dance.

"Oh but then there's so many others! Byakko, Touda, Soryuu! I can't decide!"

"Well if we stand here too long we're just going to fall in love with each other, go back to our rooms, fuck like bunnies and miss all the fun!"

"Hey that does sound like fun!"

"Damn girl you are insatiable! Look, Let's find the Tengu and I promise, tomorrow morning I'll do you nine ways to Sunday!"

Suddenly there were footsteps in the hall and both girls turned to see Genbu walking in their direction and self-preservation finally had meaning.

"Oh shit, run!"

Fleeing the hall the girls found themselves lost in what appeared to be the clock tower. Climbing giant cogs and avoiding oversized pendulums was a hard enough feat, but silk kimonos and high-heeled slippers made it almost impossible.

"Crap! How the hell are we going to get out of here?"

"Wait, Saya there's a door over-AHH!" Yuma yelped as something caught her around the waist from behind, whisking her off her feet and into the air.

"Hey Kojiro I found a stray, can we keep it?"

The pale dark-haired Tengu chuckled lightly and flew up from the shadows carrying a very dazed Saya bridal style.

"See, I told you, the clock tower may be the most difficult place to navigate, but it always has the best finds."

Kotaro rolled his eyes.

"You're thinking about video games at a time like this?"

VII

Byakko sailed lazily about the sky observing the chaos below as everyone scrambled to find their true loves, or a safe place to hide. He loved flying and knew that everyone else would be too panic-stricken to take to the skies. He rolled onto his back and let the wind buffet him away from the castle towards the hills beyond the forest. As much as he wanted to stay behind and find out what happened, he knew this was the safest alternative. Skimming the tops of the trees he turned onto his belly, getting an eyeful of raw teenage dragon lust as he swept over a clearing. Not bothering with discretion, he flew in low giving a thumbs-up to Kijin and his very startled lover before taking to higher elevations again. He drew closer to the crest of the highest mountain and circled lazily, intending to land with flourish, but found himself crashing to the ground without grace as something large, blue and scaly glomped him out of the sky.

VIII

Tsuzuki was bored. He paced his room grumbling about the fact that he was bored. He couldn't fault Watari though. It had been worth a shot. Tsuzuki was fully aware that the scientist and the secretary wanted each other and he had told both of them as much on many occasions. He couldn't really see Tatsumi doing anything to initiate a relationship, but Watari's acute shyness in Tatsumi's presence was almost comical. This was the same Watari that had no problem grabbing his ass for a laugh in the break room, or Terazuma's or Konoe's for that matter. What really frustrated Tsuzuki was how jealous he was. Even if Tatsumi and Watari wanted to play dumb, they at least could take comfort in knowing each others feelings, even if Tsuzuki was the one who had to make them aware of them. He still had nothing. Not the slightest hint of how Hisoka felt. What was worse it that surely, being an empath, Hisoka was fully aware of his feelings, and the fact that he made no move to reciprocate depressed Tsuzuki.

"Tenku?"

"Yes Tsuzuki?"

"How's he doing?"

"Hisoka?"

"Yeah."

"Not well I'm afraid."

"What?" Tsuzuki stopped pacing. Fear and worry flashed in his violet eyes.

"He is crying, Tsuzuki."

Tsuzuki's heart broke into a million pieces. Why? What could have caused him to cry?

"Tenku?"

"Yes, Tsuzuki."

"Are the lights on? Hisoka hates the dark."

"I have brightened his room more so than the others, I to remember the boys fears."

"And yet, he's till crying?"

"He has been very upset since he returned to my depths."

Tsuzuki raked his hands though his hair and looked around the room in desperation. His eyes landed on the drawing table. Scribbling furiously, Tsuzuki filled a full page of the ornate paper with his barely legible scrawl. Folding the paper he set it on the desk.

"Tenku, please deliver this to Hisoka."

Hisoka felt a slight swish in the air and something soft grazed his cheek. He lifted his head from the pillow and looked t the letter that had magically appeared in his room. With caution and reservation, he pulled open the envelope and unfolded the note inside.

_Hisoka,_

_I am sorry. Tenku has told me that you are crying. I want you to know that everything is going to be all right. Watari's potion will wear of soon and everyone will be back downstairs to continue the party. I know, you say you don't like parties, but I saw you having fun with Kijin and Byakko and I saw you smiling. I love your smile, Hisoka, and it pains me to know that it is not me that makes you smile. I want to make you smile, and feel true joy. What do I have to do? I love you. I am sorry. I love you and please understand that it is not Watari's potion that causes me to say this. I can not see you right now so I know these are the feelings that are true in my heart. I know, because I have felt them everyday for longer than you know. If you do not feel the same, I understand. I don't want you to feel like you are obligated to do anything because of them. I just want you to be happy. Tell me what I can do to make you happy._

_Love,_

_Tsuzuki_

Hisoka blinked as a door appeared in the wall between His and Tsuzuki's room. Slowly he slid out of the bed and approached it with his hand extended to the doorknob. Just before making contact he pulled back with a sigh. There were still ten minutes until the potion wore off. He didn't want Tsuzuki to think that he was doing this out of some chemical imbalance. By the same token, he wasn't entirely sure if Tsuzuki really wasn't under the spell of Watari's potion. Since when had any of them worked the way Watari said they would anyway? He sighed; steeling his nerves and opened the door. Tsuzuki was sitting cross-legged on his bed wearing a pair of flannel pajamas. His hair was ruffled and dark circles shadowed his beautiful eyes. He turned as he heard the door creak open, gracing Hisoka with a tired, yet genuine smile.

"Idiot. Stop apologizing for things that are not your fault!" Hisoka growled before running the length of the room and throwing himself into his partner's arms.

Ooooo Cliff hanger! So there you go, 9 ½ pairs of happy people. Can you guess them now?

A few things that may need to be explained:

-Taimo may or may not be a woman. He/she seems to have a womanly shape, but in volume 10 English translation Hisoka says "That guy has no face." So I made her a woman because I found it better that Tatsumi be jealous of a straight guy.

-I have read on a few sites that Wakaba is supposed to be junior high age. I was 14 when I started high school so the idea that Terazuma wants to jump his 14 year-old partner kind of squeams me out, regardless of how much older her spirit is than his. So let's just pretend she's 16 like Hisoka okay? That's legal in most of the world.

-Saya and Yuma's "discreet white package from a mail order catalog called Adam and Eve." Adam and Eve is a mail order catalog that sells, um, "toys" of various sorts that you must be a certain age to purchase. It's the kind of place I can see the count having a frequent shopper card for. God only knows what the hentai girls plan on doing with them.

-Tengu: Matsushita's explanation of Tengu is very close to what I had already read about them. However, in looking at the mythology I have found that "brother" takes on a whole different meaning. Tengu are born in pairs, but are hatched from separate eggs, cultivated from the souls of the arrogant. Two are born at once to maintain the Yin and Yang balance. This in now way implies that they are "brothers" in the familial sense, which makes me happy because there is something really super creepy about incest and I don't understand other people's fascination with it (Maybe that's because I've been to Alabama and Arkansas). Also, I couldn't help my little pathetic attempt at a funny. When I wrote the first part about Watari hearing the clock tower bells, I immediately thought of Castlevania, which is my all time favorite video game series. The clock tower is my all time least favorite level on any of the games since the first one, but it always seems to be the place that you find some really cool artifact that ups your power a lot. In recent games the hero tends to be really prissy and whiny and so it amused me to think of Saya and Yuma as the heroes, and the Tengu as a male version of the Harpies. I'm such a dork.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Ack! I really wanted to have this up by the end of the weekend but time just slipped away from me. Well no more words, here it is, the shocking conclusion! Well sorta, there's an epilogue and the bonus coming as well. Plus I have a little something special (as in short bus special) to post for Friday the 13th.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, but I'm willing to pay Matsushita 5 pesos 15 yen and 35 cents plus my soul if she'll finish it already!

vvv

Tsuzuki fell backwards under the gentle weight of Hisoka's body taking the teen with him. He circled his arms around Hisoka's waist and drew him closer.

"Hisoka?" Tsuzuki questioned the boy silently with his eyes. Too many thoughts conflicted in his head.

"Yes, Tsuzuki, this is where I want to be. I'm not under the influence of the potion. I mean, I am, we all are. But like I told you, this where I want to be, in your heart. But what I couldn't tell you in Kyoto, is that I love you too."

Tsuzuki lifted Hisoka's chin gently until their faces were just inches apart. Unshed tears darkening the empath's eyes to a deeper shade of green. Tsuzuki found that articulating the many ways he loved Hisoka to be quite difficult. Every word seemed wrong, as if the language to express such depths of love and awe had yet to be invented. Instead he slid one arm up Hisoka's back to cup his head gently and bring it closer, closing the millimeter gap between their lips. The boy's lips were softer than a silk pillow, sweeter than apple pie, and best of all, responsive. The chaste, yet emotional kiss lingered on, until Tsuzuki's fingers bushed slightly the curve of Hisoka's earlobe, causing the teen to shiver, parting his lips in an almost inaudible sigh. Tsuzuki's tongue drifted lazily across first the bottom, then top lip before venturing carefully between them caressing gently at Hisoka's own tongue.

Hisoka's inhibitions and unwillingness to tell Tsuzuki his feelings had never hinged on any doubts about his feelings. Nor did he have any insecurities about his small, eternally sixteen-year-old body, despite Watari's constant teasing. Hisoka had, however, been worried sick about this moment, their fist kiss. Soon after joining the division, Hisoka had overheard Wakaba and Watari discussing the importance of the first kiss. Wakaba had been telling a story about how her first kiss with one boy she dated in high school had been terrible an awkward. At the time Hisoka thought it was stupid, but as his feelings for Tsuzuki grew, he began to dwell on the conversation. Hisoka had never kissed anyone before and he didn't want to ruin the moment.

About the time Tsuzuki's tongue entered his mouth, Hisoka realized kissing was as instinctual as breathing. Cautiously he allowed his tongue forward to explore Tsuzuki's mouth eliciting a moan from the older man. Yes, their first kiss had been perfect, and being empathic, Hisoka knew that Tsuzuki had thought so too.

vvv

Konoe groped the wall, looking for a light switch.

"There's no light, I already checked."

The chief felt a chill at those words, or rather, at that voice.

"Todoroki, I'm sorry, I'll try to find somewhere else." He reached for the door handle, only to find that it no longer existed. Todoroki sighed from somewhere in the dark not far behind him.

"It's no use, Konoe. We're stuck here until our daughter sees fit to release us, like some fucked up version of the "Parent Trap."

"Oh," was all he could manage to reply.

"I suppose though, that other than the fact that we're forced to endure each others company, we're safe. The potion only works if we see each other."

As if on cue, a dim light illuminated the room just enough to bring the two elder Shinigami's faces into focus. Konoe stared at the floor and sighed. Todoroki began inspecting her nails.

"Roki, do you hate me that much?"

The woman bristled.

"I never hated you. It was unfair though, of our parents to force us into a marriage neither of us wanted."

"I never said I didn't want to marry you."

"I could not give you a son."

"You gave me a daughter who has more sense than both of us."

The woman stopped concentrating on her nail and looked at her cellmate.

"How is that?"

Konoe looked up at her with dark circles under his eyes.

"All this time, we've been unhappy, because we each thought we were making the other unhappy. Miya just wants her parents to put aside their stubborn behavior and act like a family again. I think I would like that too." He held his hand out to Todoroki, "Could we? Start over again?"

Todoroki's severe expression softened. Rather than taking Konoe's hand, she threw herself into his arms with a small sniffle.

"I think we can do that."

vvv

"Well, don't just hang there, help me pull us up onto that branch. Unless you really want to throw up all over your hair."

Touda winced at the visual imagery.

"How can we get up there?"

"Push me."

"Push you? How?"

"Take my hands."

Touda thought this was an odd request from Suzaku. Even odder was the image of her holding out her arms toward him when there wasn't a weapon in them. He may have dwelt longer on her motives if his stomach wasn't beginning to cramp up. Instead, he did as he was told.

"Now what?"

"Pull me towards you, as close as you can."

Hand over hand, Touda pulled Suzaku in until their hands were gripping each other's shoulders in some kind of awkward, upside down harlequin moment. Touda felt an uncomfortable twinge of heat in his cheeks.

"Now, push me away, as hard as you can." There was an oddly breathless quality to Suzaku's voice that Touda did not find unpleasant. He paused for a moment to clear the thought, before giving her a rough shove. Suzaku began swinging back and forth like trapeze artist, gathering momentum by twisting her body. Finally she was able to swing high enough to grasp the branch that was high above their heads and pulled herself up. Anchoring the vine that had ensnared her around the trunk of the tree, Suzaku pulled Touda up until he could hook his legs over the branch and pull himself into the sitting position. He groaned, looking a bit more green than usual. Suzaku sat down next to him on the branch.

"Here," she pulled a dram bottle from one of the small pouches around her neck and tossed it to Touda. He eyed it for a moment. Charcoal for his stomach. He swallowed the bitter tablets wordlessly. A few minutes later his stomach began to relax and he regained his normal color.

"I don't understand."

"Huh?" Suzaku toyed with a knot in the purse string, apparently very absorbed with the task.

"You helped me, you gave me medicine. I didn't expect that. I expected you to free yourself and leave me here."

Suzaku grimaced, staring intently at the knot that she had managed to worsen.

"Then, why did you help me get up here?"

"I asked you first."

With flushed cheeks Suzaku drew her attention away from the purse string and looked Touda in the eye (err...visor).

"I, uh, I don't know. It seemed, uh...I mean, you were...I..."

She turned away, embarrassed. Suddenly there was a light pressure on her shoulder and Suzaku looked down to see a clawed hand.

"You were concerned. Suzaku, thank you."

She sniffed disdainfully, brave with her face turned away from the very sexy snake.

_Very sexy?!? Did I just think that??_

"Yeah, well. Tsuzuki told me to be nice, I'm doing it for him."

The clawed hand lifted from her shoulder and moved to her cheek, gently forcing her to face Touda once again.

"He's told you that forever, why change now?"

Suzaku was unable to formulate a reply before her lips were captured into a kiss so passionate it could only shared by two fire elements.

vvv

"Hajime what are you doing? What happened to the wall?"

Terazuma continued to stare, unable to say or for that matter think any coherent thoughts. Wakaba stood over him wearing nothing more than a bath towel wrapped precariously around her body. She fidgeted nervously, pulling the cloth tighter.

"Wakaba I'm sorry!" Terazuma sputtered, "The wall, I tried to punch it and it disappeared." He pulled himself up to a sitting position. Wakaba knelt down in front of him and tentatively put a hand on his clothed shoulder.

"Why did you punch the wall?"

Terazuma mumbled something.

What was that?"

"Because it was between us. I didn't like it there."

Wakaba smiled slightly.

"But Hajime, it's there for both of our protection. If anything were to happen because of the potion Kuro would prob-" Wakaba's eyes widened and she drew back her hand as if it burned.

"Oh no Hajime we have to get out of here!" She tried to stand but tangled her leg in her towel falling awkwardly. Suddenly strong arms were preventing her from hitting the floor. Terazuma held her, his bare hands on her bare back and shoulders, but he was not transforming.

"He's gone, Wakaba. Earlier, in the woods, we had a fight. He wanted to get out, to go back to our world because there was something here he could not face. I told him he was destroying my life and yours. He fled. I think I know where he went, but I don't know how long he'll be gone."

Wakaba blinked. Her one and only wish had come true, yet she felt sad, guilty almost.

"So he's been gone since this afternoon?"

Terazuma nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Terazuma looked away.

"I wanted to make sure he was okay. And...I wanted to surprise you. I had planned to get you away from the party for a minute but then that bastard had to go and spike the wine."

Wakaba shifted so that she was comfortably situated in his lap and put her arms round his shoulders.

"What were you planning once you got me alone?"

Wakaba's voice was lower than usual and broken with emotion.

"Only this," Terazuma whispered before capturing her lips with his.

"Is that all?"

Terazuma scooped the girl into his arms and got off the floor carrying her to the nearest bed, laying her gently into it.

"Maybe some of this too."

vvv

"Um, not that I have any problem with this, but aren't you gay?"

Kotaro laughed as he tossed Yuma onto a very big bed that was already occupied by Saya and Kojiro.

"Gay would indicate strictly same sex, so no," The quieter Tengu answered in turn.

"So you're bi?" Saya asked.

"We're trisexual," Kotaro supplied, "As in, we'll try anything sexual!"

"Works for me!" Yuma chirped.

"Good, so why are we all sitting around having a conversation with our clothes on?" Kotaro asked as he slid out of his yukata, "And more importantly, whatcha got in that discreetly unlabeled bag over there?"

vvv

Byakko tumbled to the ground reverting back to his human form. He found himself pinned down by a tangle of limbs and hair.

"Hello kitty."

"Soryuu?" The blue dragon's hands were fast finding their way under the tigers clothing. His breath was hot on Byakko's neck as he spoke.

"Those girls were right, you are the perfect uke," his hands roamed south, "The tail is sexy, quite a turn on."

Byakko let out a loud moan (because everyone knows that ukes are loud).

"S-Soryuu," he gasped, "That's not my tail."

An evil, yet dead sexy smile spread across Soryuu's very seme face.

"Why you're right Byakko. And just what might this be?" His hand tightened around the thing that was not a tail, "I'll have to give it closer scrutiny."

Perhaps it was for the best that the tiger and dragon were far from the castle, because the noises Byakko made that night would have woke everyone.

vvv

"Did you hear something?" Suzaku asked.

"It's just the fan girls squealing," Touda replied, wrapping one of the discarded garments around them for warmth, "Just ignore them."

vvv

As his eyes adjusted to the dark, Watari noticed some not so subtle changes in the shadow master's appearance. His glasses, for one, were missing, and he was still wearing the yukata, albeit, a little haphazardly. The sash had come completely undone to the point where only the delicate balance of gravity was keeping Tatsumi's modesty safe. But what really surprised Watari was the look in his eyes, pure, unfiltered lust.

Watari choked, hardly able to breathe, torn between running from the sex-drugged secretary and yanking off the offending sash. it was Tatsumi, however, who upset the precarious balance of his clothing by crawling onto the bed, losing the sash all together, giving Watari an eyeful of the shadow master's sculpted torso as the robe slithered off his shoulders as he climbed further up the scientists body. Suddenly Watari was very aware that the only thing separating Tatsumi's flesh from his was a very thin sheet.

"T-t-Tatsumi you shouldn't be here!"

The brunette laughed softly, sending a burst of hot breath through the soft material to the skin of Watari's belly.

"Shouldn't I be?" He slid snake-like up the blonde's torso, capturing two pale thin hands in his own trapping them above Watari's head. "Isn't this what you wanted, Yutaka?"

Watari squirmed, very aware of the feeling of Tatsumi's lip grazing his. Even more aware of secretary's fully aroused body thrusting shamelessly against him.

"No! I mean, yes, but not like this!"

Tatsumi let go of one of Watari's hands and grabbed the sheet between them, sliding it dangerously lower. "Like this perhaps?"

Watari shivered and tried to repress the growing feelings in his body.

"N-No, Tatsumi! Oh!!"

Watari's scientific mind was shutting down.

"That's not what I meant!"

"Don't you want me as much as I want you, Yutaka?"

Watari's heart leapt momentarily upon hearing Tatsumi's declaration, but sank quickly with realization. As gently as he could he pushed the secretary away.

"Tatsumi, I'm in love with you. I created the potion without thought to how selfish and stupid it was. I want you to do this because you love me too, not because you are under the spell of some stupid potion that some manipulative bastard concocted. I'll understand if you hate me because of that, but you'll only hate me more if I allow this to happen. Plus, you'll hate yourself as well."

He laid back down facing away from Tatsumi and put his hand over his face to hide the tears that were flowing freely.

Tatsumi frowned, curling his body around the slighter frame of the blonde, inhaling the light perfume of his hair.

"I could never hate you. Even if you made a potion that turned me into a rock, I wouldn't hate you, because..." Tatsumi sat up a bit on his side and pulled Watari's shoulder. The blonde pulled away.

"Yutaka look at me, please."

Watari was dizzy, and nauseous, and very embarrassed, but he allowed himself to be guided back by strong hands. He rolled onto his back and opened his eyes. Tatsumi wrapped his arms around him, wiping away the remaining tears.

"I love you. I don't hate you because I have loved you for such a very long time, but I am an idiot who can't do something as simple as express his emotions. I should have realized you had feelings for me too, but I doubted myself. I would tell myself that you were just being friendly, and that if I told you how I felt you would be scared off. Please forgive me, Yutaka."

Watari hung his head to the side. Tatsumi's words were so beautiful, so sincere. He found that here was something very comforting in being wrapped in Tatsumi's arms. He shook his head.

'No, stop this right now. This isn't real,' he reminded himself, taking a deep breath to clear his head.

"Tatsumi, please, this isn't fair to me. I really do love you so much, but I will not take advantage of the fact that you are drugged. Please respect that and let me be before my resolve breaks and we do something we're going to regret."

"No regrets," Tatsumi whispered, "No one drank the potion."

"What?" Watari was confused.

"No one drank the potion."

"But Tsuzuki came to my room looking for Hisoka, I gave the bottles to him, he gave them to you-"

Tatsumi smiled. "And I noticed a telltale strand of blonde hair stuck in the cork of one bottle in particular. I got rid of it, I had Tenku bury it where it could not be found. Though I doubt there would have been any mistaking it for wine. It smelled terrible and didn't look like any wine I'd ever seen."

"Smelled like turpentine and looked like India ink did it?" Watari laughed lightly, "And her I thought I was being clever. So this whole time, you knew?"

Tatsumi nodded shyly.

"Why?" Watari asked, "Why didn't you say anything?"

Tatsumi looked uncomfortable and coughed nervously. "Well how else was I supposed to lower my inhibitions? You know how terribly shy I am. And besides, there is everyone else to consider. I thought it might be a good idea for some of them to work out their, uh, own inhibitions."

Watari smirked.

"Well yes, there are quite a few people here who could benefit from a love potion."

He looked up to see Tatsumi staring at him intently, their lips again a breath away from each other.

"I meant every word." Tatsumi whispered. Watari's breath hitched in his throat.

"So did I."

And finally, with no misunderstandings between them, Watari and Tatsumi shared their first kiss, and much much more


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Gomen, Sorry, Je regret, and uh….apologies in any other language you may speak for not updating this sooner! I feel horrible, but real life has this way of coming in and taking over. I actually had half of this written out last week and the plan was to post over the weekend, but in a moment of idiocy, I closed Word and when the little pop up came up asking if I wanted to save, I said no. Because I am as baka as my name suggests! Anyway:

Disclaimer: Yami no Matsushita, Yami not mine.

Tsuzuki stared contented at sandy-haired angel asleep in his arms. Though his stomach rumbled incessantly, he couldn't bring himself to leave the bed.

"Mmm...Tsuzuki, if you're hungry then just go eat breakfast," Hisoka mumbled, his eyelashes fluttering open to reveal sleep-misted emerald eyes.

"I didn't want to wake you, you looked so peaceful, like an angel."

Blushing, Hisoka looked at the clock.

"Tsuzuki! It's almost noon! Everyone's probably wondering where we are."

"Shhh," Tsuzuki wrapped his arms tighter around his partner. "I've been checking in with Tenku, no one is awake yet. In fact, Watari's potion certainly made for some strange bedfellows all around."

Hisoka rolled his eyes and was about to make a comment when he realized what that could mean for him.

"Tsuzuki," he began cautiously, "last night...we...were we under the influ..."

The slight pressure of Tsuzuki's lips against his cut off his words.

"I wasn't. I meant what I said. I love you, Hisoka. I love you more than anything and I want to be with you forever."

Hisoka choked back an emotional sob at the flood of emotions that flowed freely from Tsuzuki, validating his words with unspoken promise.

"I love you too, Tsuzuki. I always will."

For several minutes they laid in bed holding each other until Tsuzuki stirred.

"Hey, Hisoka, I'm a little hungry."  
"Then go get something to eat."

Tsuzuki rolled Hisoka onto his stomach and stretched out on top of him.

"I never said I was hungry for food. I want something sweeter."

Needless to say, neither Tsuzuki nor Hisoka made it to breakfast or lunch.

Tatsumi awoke to the realization that something was very different this morning, many something's. For one thing, the clock on the bedside table informed him that it was not quite still morning. Tatsumi never slept past 6am, even on the weekends. The customary tension headache that he come to realize was synonymous with waking was absent. In fact, all of his muscles were relaxed, well used, but relaxed. As if the night before he had a vigorous work out. He was not wearing his starched navy blue grandpa pajamas either. This made it all the more obvious to him that he was not in his own bed because rather than discount store, 100 thread count bedding, he was engulfed in a blanket of heavenly golden silk that wrapped itself tighter around him, writhing suggestively.

_Blankets do not writhe suggestively._

Tatsumi blinked down at the cascade of golden hair across his chest and the long lean body of the man it belonged to, smiling. For the first time in his life, and afterlife, Tatsumi Seiichiro was looking forward to the day. And the next, and the next after that. Watari stirred, lifting his head, which caused his hair to slide across Tatsumi's chest, sending shivers though out his body.

"Tell me I'm not dreaming." He slurred sleepily, snuggling closer to Tatsumi, if that was even possible.

"If you're not then I am," Tatsumi whispered, curling his arms protectively around the golden-haired beauty as if he'd vanish at any minute. Watari sighed contented and leaned up to brush a light kiss across Tatsumi's jaw line.

"Can we stay like this forever?"

"Probably not," Tatsumi smirked, "We'd get bedsores and eventually one of us would have to get up to pee."

Watari sat up in astonished amusement.

"Tatsumi Seiichiro, you did not just say the word pee!"

"Indeed I did. Now get back here, I said we can't stay like this forever, but I for one am not ready to get out of bed, are you?"

Needless to say, Tatsumi and Watari did not get out of bed at a respectable hour either.

And so it was well into the afternoon before any of the partygoers decided to assemble themselves in the dining hall for brunch, or was it brinner at that hour?

Though there were many strange sights to behold, no one was about to point out anything anomalous about anyone else's appearance lest they be the target of scrutiny next. That is, of course, until Byakko came bounding into the room wearing what could only be described as two straps of flimsy red vinyl and a pair of red platform fuck-me-boots. As conversations came to an abrupt stop and the clacking of plates and utensils ceased, the streetwalker, I mean, Shikigami, looked around at everyone else and put his hands on his hips.

"Well? Does this color not totally bring out my eyes or what?" The tiger swished his way across the room at sat down next to his friend, Kijin.

"Byakko?" the boy started, trying not to actually look his friend in the eye, "Uh, should I call you mom now?"  
Soryuu choked on his scone. Byakko grinned wickedly.

"Sure! I always wanted kids!"

A very hung over Tenko stumbled over to Byakko and sat in his lap.

"You look like a cheap hooker, mom."

And with that the conversations lit up again, and people were not afraid to say what had been on their mind all morning.

"Saya, there are white feathers in your hair. Yuma, you got some sticking out of your underwear too."

"No, Touda, I'm pretty sure that you had the black robe on last night, that one looks an awful lot like Suzaku's."

"Something wrong brother?"  
"Yeah, I don't think these are my underwear."

"Well of course they're not, I'm wearing yours."

"Are these yours then?"

"No, I know I do not have any underwear from Pink House."

"It doesn't take an empath to know the JBF glow, Bon."

"Damn, Terazuma, I thought you'd mellow out after getting laid, OW!"

Meanwhile, deep in the belly of the earth, far below Tenku's foundation, the gnomes that mine the land (because everyone knows that gnomes mine the land) has just unearthed a present from the gods of the land above.

"What's this?" The gnome leader cried, running an appraising hand along the smooth side of the glass bottle.

"'Tis mead!" The gnome worker cried, "'Tis a gift of the gods!"

"Then at once! We should imbibe in this heavenly gift of drink. The corkscrew at once!"

"Eh, Gnome Leader, should mead be this shade of green?"  
"Eh? Not that I've seen before. But! This is mead of the gods! It can be any color the gods wish it to be!"

"YAY!" cried the gnomes, holding their flasks under the stream of green liquid.

"Bottom's up lads!"  
BOOM!

A thick cloud of green vapor descended on the unconscious gnomes. After some time, the vapor lifted, revealing things to be not quite as they were.

"Eh? Gnome leader? I feel funny. Gnome leader?"  
"Yes, and you look funny too!"

"As do you!"  
"Hey who are all of these women?"  
"What are you talking about? You're a woman too!"

"What?"

Alas, poor Watari was oblivious to the fact that turpentine and India ink, while not so much a love potion, were the key ingredients in Super Strength Sex Change Potion #9.

The End.

Okay so it ended very silly. I'll try harder next time I promise! Finally, I want to thank the totally awesome people who reviewed this story. 28 reviews and not a single one of them flames! Woohoo! Special mentions:

Thelastunicorn: Byakko in the hooker outfit was for you. In fact, have Byakko, he's house-trained. Byakko comes with many other fashionable outfits from the Pink House fall catalogue including the frilly pink number mentioned previously in the story and of course, a French maid outfit (Instant cos-play Byakko ™ even comes with his own tail and ears!).

Amethyst-eyed Koneko: It's not often that a review can be more entertaining than the story itself, but yours are great! And of course, you get kitty treats! Yay-uh, huh? Oh, I'm so sorry then. Hisoka informs me that he is NOT a kitty treat. But Tsuzuki is entranced by your eyes. He thinks he's seen eyes like yours before, but he can't remember where. Hisoka rolls his eyes. Okay, you can keep them, Tsuzuki and Hisoka also come with inu and neko cos-play accessories and you get one very special Pink House outfit of your choosing for Hisoka just because he was being so mean (Take that Hisoka! Nyah!)

Rhea-samma: For being there to review all the chapters and even more so for being there writing some awesome Tatari of your own, I thank you much! Of course for you I have front row seats to the hot new musical hitting the nation: Yutaka And the Night of 1000 Yukatas, starring Watari Yutaka! Tatsumi of course will be your date for the evening. Please do use them as inspiration for future Tatari fics because I am an addict!

Kuramasdarkside: Another Tatari enthusiast, I thank you! You get tickets to the latest rock opera that's sweeping the nation: Spandex Rhapsody, the Watari Yutaka Story. Tatsumi will be your date as well, but don't be surprised if he hides from the paparazzi. Please write more because again, I just can't get enough Tatari and I do so love your 80's rock god type portrayal of Watari (probably because I'm old enough to remember that stuff, ugh!).

evilfrogger86: For you I have a very special game. It's just like Wack-a-Mole, but it's a home version called Wack-a-Psycho. It comes with Muraki and a giant mallet. Tsuzuki said he'd love to come over and play it with you. Don't worry, Muraki comes with an unlimited supply of clean white suits, in case you get the first ones all bloody.

And to everyone else who reviewed, I feel like I'm slighting you by not replying personally so please know that I thank you all too!!!! And now, as promised, the bonus (which refers back to the vacation issue of the manga when Saya and Yuma are introduced):

Saya and Yuma star in:

Squeezing the fruit:

It's a typical day, Tsuzuki and Hisoka are sitting in their office when suddenly noises can be heard from out in the hall.

"Dammit Saya! Didn't I tell you to stop squeezing the fruit?"

"Yeah, but how am I gonna know if it's good if I don't?"

"I dunno, but how come you've got 2 melons and all I got are kiwis?"

Tsuzuki's eyes pop, Hisoka rolls his eyes and prays they aren't headed his way.

"Well I raised them until they were just right for plucking. Hey, have you seen my banana?"

"You have a banana? I thought you had a peach?"

"Yeah I did but Watari switched it for me. I'm going to give my banana to Hisoka."

"I don't think Hisoka want's a banana, why didn't you keep your peach?"

"Geeze, everyone knows Hisoka won't eat a peach, but he'd take the whole banana."

"Only if it was Tsuzuki giving him the banana."

Hisoka is frightened. Tsuzuki has a nosebleed.

"Well there's nothing wrong with my banana, I would know if Watari tampered with it. Besides, he was much more interested in his own melons when I left. He just got them this morning."

"Damn it! You mean even Watari has melons? And I'm stuck with kiwis!"

"It's okay, Tsuzuki loves kiwis!"

"Oh good, they won't go to waste then. Well, what are we waiting for!"

The girls open the door to the girlish screams of Tsuzuki and Hisoka as they cling to each other in fear. Saya almost drops the basket of fruit she's carrying. Yuma just stands in the doorway shaking her head. "Told you they'd get the wrong idea. I win, hand over the yen!"

End

ACK! Bad humor! So sorry, It couldn't be helped, I've had that stupid little bit in my head forever!


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